Fastest Way to Clean Out Closets?

This is Robert. This is my husband over a decade past his highschool graduation. If you did not know him then, he will be the first to tell you and share with you his memories of his glorious time with his football team at Dalton High School. If you let him talk too long about these precious memories, he might even bring out these enormous scrapbooks the mothers of the football players made.

Have you ever just gotten completely overwhelmed with things you want to do in your house? Maybe some things you want to decorate or organize or clean? I do...often! Well, as I've mentioned in the past, I am on my clearing through my house binge (I go through these periodically!). My kitchen remodel began the inspiration. Then, I realized I was simply at my wit's end on STUFF! I'm tired of stuff. My house felt like it was shrinking. In fact, my house is not shrinking. Our stuff is growing. My husband and I felt just fine in our house prior to children. We even had room to spare! Then, LaLa came...more stuff. Then, Little Bit...even more stuff. It's either stuff gets organized and cleared out...or we move out and our stuff stays in the house! I went room to room with a pen (okay, a pencil) and my "list" notebook (my spiral notebook designated for lists). As I went in every room, I considered how I could better use space. Did I love or have to have these items?! Do I need to paint something? Is there something that I have been wanting to change or decorate? I wrote details of what needs to be accomplished in every room...in every nook and cranny.

I have a list. I have a calendar. I combined them. It's not as overwhelming because I focus on just that day or week. I have a mission. I am making progress. In fact, I cannot be stopped...yeah right! Has my little family not realized that I have a LIST on my CALENDAR? Did I mention it is written in pen?! Yeah, I knew that would really get me focused. When my family is around (believe or not...my husband is as bad as my children!), it takes me longer to get through my list because we have to stop and reminisce on each and every item! For example, the football helmet from Robert's glory football days in high school and my cheerleading megaphone from high school. I didn't even know we had these items still!

The first picture is Robert "trying" on his helmet and telling LaLa about what it meant to play football and how wonderful he was as a football player. ;) I convinced him to let me snap his picture assuring him that when he is in his old age wouldn't it be cute to still have it?

Now, on to the second picture (keep in mind...this is totally interrupting "the" time devoted to my mission). This is Robert TRYING to get the Helmet off. Hee Hee...laughed hard...really hard! Didn't quite fit like it used to fit in high school! Snapped this picture illegally without his permission during his efforts to remove it.

Now, LaLa gets her turn to try on her daddy's old helmet. It's, of course, huge on her. She also yells into my megaphone periodically to mix it up a bit. Hmmm...makes me wonder...in her future will she be a cheerleader or a football player or neither one? If you ask most people, she probably has a good chance of being either one! She's pretty tough for such a cutie!

You may ask...where was sweet Little Bit? Well, she WAS sleeping until LaLa got a hold of the megaphone!

Off to finish the next room...maybe we will not get quite as distracted with our high school days on the next one!

Ramblings & My Husband

This is my 200th post. Wow! I just thought that was interesting.

I went to Lowes today to collect 30 of these brick edger things (technical term), spraypaint, and a couple flats of flowers (can never have enough). All over their store, it says, "We will help you load." Well, Lowes...I say "yeah right". I spent almost forty minutes after I asked and paid for assistance and getting and loading these heavy brick things, got my kids in and out of my car four times because I was forgotten about waiting for help, and moved my car three times because the lady didn't know where to send me. Ultimately, I got my kids out of the car (both quite tired, exhausted, frustrated, and crying) one last time and went back inside the lawn and garden section. The lady assured me someone was stacking them this very second. I strolled our circus of screaming children over to the brick section and not one single person was there! I promptly got a refund for EVERYTHING I bought & packed my kids back in the car! YOU have to get this...it's the best part, the lady said, "Let me walk out with you to your car (still blocking the parking lot) to get your return (one brick paver thingie so she could ring up all thirty of them & my flats)". This cashier and a young man walked out with me to get my now returned items. So, they could walk OUT with me to get my returned items, BUT no one...not one...could help me LOAD my car! UGH! Okay, that was my rant and rambling.

Now, on to my husband. He's smart. He's lucky...wins everything and anything he signs up for in contests and activities. He can sale anything to anybody...pretty handy to have around to haggle or sale something at yard sales and such. He thinks and debates through everything and anything he does, especially when money is involved. Let's just say he is the cheapest person that I have ever met. beyond frugal. My dad often says he trips over dollars to save pennies. When he does spend money, I think he physically gets sick. With all that said, he's been (financially) nauseous for a few weeks now with our spending on our kitchen, our water heaters that went out, our air conditioner that stopped working, and everything else in the house that suddenly decided to fall apart! After a good thunderstorm and a full day power outage a couple weeks ago, our television began having a vertical green stripe and a double image. Every other tv worked in our house. Every tv is hooked up to a cable box just like the one downstairs. Only the downstairs tv was not working. Now, what would you think? My thought was the tv is broke. My sad husband mourned the loss of his flat screen, but after much debate, he decided we should replace the tv.

He spent the entire day (yes, mother's day) going back and forth between stores, sales people, the internet, and sales papers trying to decide the best economic decision on a new flat screen. After all, he rationalized that our tv was five years old (how is that old for a tv by the way?!). He purchased a tv. It wouldn't fit on our existing mount because it is now obselete (yes...five years old and they do not make it that way anymore...seriously). Off to purchase a mount. Oops...now we need a special (60 dollars) cable to make the dvd and vcr work. My poor dad and Robert worked hard the entire day working on getting this tv up and working. They turn it on and....

IT HAS A GREEN STRIPE AND A DOUBLE IMAGE!

WHAT?! Let me repeat, WHAT?!

I say (T), "that's not right. it has a green stripe too."
Robert (R) says, "oh, no, this tv is broken too."
My dad (D) says, "well, guys, it must be the cable not the tv."

R looks like he is about to pass out. He turns white, white, white and sits slowly. My D stands looking serious and perplexed. I fall down on the floor laughing, crying and unable to talk.

All that work. All that money. For no reason. We are not real frivalous people. We did not buy the original tv to begin with...my parents did as a gift one Christmas. We try to keep savings for emergencies (like air conditioners, water heaters, etc.). We have just had too much of that lately! We try not to have debt (if we cannot pay for something, we don't get it.) We saved for years to redo our kitchen. Like I said...Robert is cheap  frugal. We would have used the other tv until it died. Now, we have this fancy smancy tv after we have fixed item after item over the last few weeks in our house.

It's just kinda funny...well, let's just say Robert is not ready to laugh yet.

I just figured...you have to laugh or cry, right?!

I couldn't be mad because I assumed the tv was broke as well.
 I was more mad about it taking my entire mother's day than the tv drama!

Come on over and watch a show on our new fancy, smancy tv...

and feel free to laugh at with my smart, lucky, saavy husband about his not-so-smart purchase!

Is it still today?

At moments I wonder if my life is a SNL (saturday night live) skit.

Today...
I wore two different socks. They were not just different styles. They were different colors.

Today...
I decided I needed some exercise as this warm weather has finally hit atlanta. The girls and I went on a walk. Well, I walked and they ate cheese its and juice boxes in the jogging stroller. We hit the half mile mark and my stroller had a flat. Of course, I didn't put shoes on either of my kiddos! We still had that half of a mile to back track in order to get home. Obviously, it hasn't seen much use lately. See, hubby, I knew that little pump attachment would come in handy some time or another...just should've learned how to use it. Strange person on the side of the road helped poor pitiful me.

Today...
Caught my daughter's birthday invitation on fire. Yes, I'm serious. Wouldn't a pirate invitation look extra cute with burnt edges? I was trying to go for the whole pirate map look. I was trying to gently burn the edges and the invite engulfed. I blew...bad...made worse. I waved it....very bad....got bigger and flames move. Threw it down in garage floor and stomped on it....worked...soot on floor.

Today...
In the grocery store we stopped by to get that free cookie the bakery gives kids so their parents can shop and spend more money instead of being grumpy and leave quickly....the baker lady sees my wild little bit and says, "oooh, that girl might need two to keep her still." Actually, Lady, even two cookies won't keep my toddler still unless you have a sedative in there!

Today...
I put my cell phone on the back of my car's bumper and drove away. Fortunately, I do most of my talking while I'm driving and noticed quickly....and it was still there!

Today...
I told my preschooler on the way to school to be a good girl. She said, "Mommy, I might just need to be a little naughty. I don't know how the day is going to go yet."

Today...
I told my mom that my kids were probably going to turn me gray early. LaLa overheard and told me I already had gray hair. (I don't by the way...or I don't think I do.)

Today...
I put my toddlers diaper on inside out. Yeah, that happens when they get to the age of not being still during diaper changes. The goal was to just get it on that end of her body.

Today...
I called the vet to schedule a follow up recheck for my yorkshire terrier. I did not get an appointment because the vet I like wasn't there, but the receptionist could not understand what I was saying even though I repeated myself over and over and over. Without realizing it, I had slowly gotten louder and louder the more times I repeated myself. I was trying to be productive and called while I was waiting outside at LaLa's preschool for the children to come. Of course this simple task turned into a quite embarrassing moment. "Yes mam, that's correct. HIS NAME IS MAX. YES, THE DR. I SAW LAST WEEK TOLD ME TO COME IN FOR A RECHECK. IT'S FOR HIS ANAL GLANDS. HIS ANAL GLANDS. HIS A-N-A-L GLAAAANDSSSS. OKAY, WELL, THANKS, I'LL TRY AGAIN IN A COUPLE DAYS. I looked around and people are trying not to look at me. They probably thought my husband was Max, and he has anal gland issues. Good luck, hubby, at donut for dads this week! I probably made you some new friends at preschool today.

Today...
is the day before my 30th birthday. I'm excited because I love, love, love birthdays and celebrations of any and all kinds, but 30 sounds like a real grown up. That is the part that is giving me some hesitation.

My mom used to tell me when I was little that when we are sad and we cry, the angels would cry with us. This comforted me to know that I never cried alone. Well, I think the same goes for laughing. I have laughed at myself all day. The angels must be laughing too. Maybe I need to submit some ideas to SNL.

A Mama's List of "I nevers"...

Things I thought I would never do...

• *bribe my kids (I am the one who opens things in the grocery store in order to let my kids snack so I can make it through my list.)
• *obsess about poop (the color of poop, if they are pooping too much or not enough, how to get them to poop in a potty...and so on.)
• *breastfeed in public (you do what you have to do when your baby is screaming).
• *hold a toddler/baby and still go potty myself.
• *say bye bye and pretend like I'm really leaving in order to persuade my child to actually leave or come wherever.
• *count to three...(seriously, we all know that we'll go beyond three to get our kids to give in. my kids probably think that I can't count past three).
• *talk baby talk. (it's just really cute when LaLa says "whirld" for "world" and Little Bit says "kukay" for "okay")
• *miss working.
• *love anything/anyone as much as I love my children.
• *be naked in front of people and not care...(once you're in labor, you lose all sense of modesty).
• *eat at McDonald's (I'm a picky fastfood eater).
• *love to eat gerber fruit snacks (they don't stick in your teeth.)
• *get bored as a mama (mentally).
• *get lonely as a mama (even though I rarely get to go to the bathroom or shower alone).
• *coupon (it's now an obsession).
• *not keep up to date scrapbooks for my kids.
• *let my kids watch tv...even non-educational cartoons
• *try to be "domesticated". (is that a word?)
• *be able to cook (the teachers I worked with early in my career would be impressed. i didn't know how to make kool-aid when I first got married.)
• *carry 2 kids at once.
• *change a toddler/baby's diaper on my lap. (LaLa was the first diaper I ever changed without help.)
• *clean up spit up/vomit...(still not my strong point. i have thrown a towel on it and waited for my hubby to get home before.)
• *not take a shower.
• *go (well, let's just say "a long time") without shaving my legs
• *spend all my money on my kids' clothes and not me...not at all. (i think this is a mama habit that most of us do. we become way back on our list of necessitites.)
• *compare myself to others.
• *wipe a nose with whatever I can find...and I mean whatever.
• *leave my house with something mysterious stained on my shoulder...spit up, snotty stuff, who knows?
• *question my decisions and actions.
• *be able to sing the Elmo theme song.
• *know all the Wiggle's dance moves.
• *want to "peek" in the windows everytime I drop my kid off at school (ugh...those mamas used to drive me crazy as a teacher. i get it now!:))
• *miss going to school (I'm a nerd.)

What have you done as a mama that you thought you would never do?

Bless Her Heart

This is definitely not what I planned on posting today! I guess I'll save what I had planned and share something else...Okay, I just have to share about my day...because you will laugh...hard. I laughed. Well, I laughed...after I cried!

It's one of those things where you just can't truly, truly appreciate it unless you were there, but I'll try to share it anyway.

Here's the background...my little yorkie max is not feeling well. After a week, I decided it was legitimate and not just a little dog pouting (which actually does happen) and took him to the vet today. I was very surprised that they could get me in today; however, I was not prepared at all. I had dropped LaLa at school on time (surprisingly). After missing two weeks of school between being sick, a snow day, and a week of mid-winter vacation, we were struggling to get up, get it together and get out this morning. We also had to remember all of her teacher appreciation items from the week she was out and her valentines to exchange (which she forgot to pass out today anyway).  As you can understand (surely you can sympathize so far), we were lucky to make it to preschool, on time in one piece. We were all dressed, but I had decided to leave Little Bit in her cozy footed pajamas. She was asleep when I put her in the car this morning anyway.

Well, as soon as I made it back home from dropping LaLa off I put Little Bit back to bed. She immediately fell sound asleep. On my way downstairs, the vet called me back. They could get my Max in to see the vet in 20 minutes (p.s. I live 20-25 minutes away) or I'd have to wait several days. Well, off I run to get Little Bit back in the car (still in her jammies and with no shoes) and then I put my little Max in the car. Off we go to the vet. As I am driving, I realize several things....I have no collar/leash for the dog. I have no shoes or clothes on my child. How am I going to carry them all inside. Well, let's just say a couple hundred dollars later and a follow up visit for Friday, my Max will be okay (my husband is dying over the cost though). He is on antibiotics & pain meds too. That officially makes everyone in my family on antibiotics except for Little Bit and Brutus (my other dog). People and the animals (we saw cats, dogs, a lizard, and a bunny) looked at me with either pity at juggling my child and my dog or they were entertained. I was their personal three ring circus. At one moment, the vet tech had to run after an escaping Little Bit. I was holding Max on the table, and Little Bit somehow opened this locking contraption on the door and took off...looking for a cow by the way (why not? there was every other animal there!).

On my way out, I paid...hmmm...holding a wiggly one year old and a pitiful yorkie and trying to sign a slip of paper. It was creative to say the least. On that note, the tech came out and wanted to give Max his first dose of meds before we left. I decided to take Little Bit on out and wait in front of my car for her to bring Max to me. I waited and waited. Then, I peeked in and asked the receptionist. A different tech returns with the biggest dog...it looked like a small horse. I didn't notice at first because I was fidgeting with Little Bit, and the lady asked if I wanted her to put the dog (Max she said) in the car. I said sure, he has a car seat in the passenger seat. I look over and this lady is trying to put a monster in my front seat. NOOOOO!!! I yelled. Yes, I did. I was stunned. I tried to tell her that was not my dog even if that dog was a Max. My dog is a small, very small yorkshire terrier...hence...the small doggie car seat in my car! Well, I got my dog, and we went on our way.

I thought I'd run into Target with my thirty minutes to spare before I picked up LaLa from school. Then, as I was sitting there, I saw this young, cute girl get out of her SUV. She grabbed her purse and was talking on her cell phone. She opened her back door. She locked the doors; then, she threw her keys in her purse. She slid her purse up on her shoulder and leaned in the backseat to unlatch a super cute little girl. She proceeded to put the little girl on her hip while talking on her cell phone. I had to say, as I watched, that I was pretty impressed at how she was juggling everything. Then, I saw her shut the back door. She froze. absolutely froze. Her face contorted. I saw her pull her arm, yet her arm would not budge. I saw her drop her cell phone and pull on the door handle. She simply stood there for several minutes I'm sure. She looked in pain or maybe in shock or confused. Maybe she was thinking. I'm not sure. I wondered what this beautiful, talented lady could be doing.

Then, I saw her put down the small toddler on the parking lot. What in the world was she doing? The child had footy jammies on and no shoes. The concrete was wet from a morning storm. Hmmm...why would she do that? The lady dropped her purse on the ground and began digging through it looking for something. In the meantime, she was trying to corral the toddler with her leg so she wouldn't dart off in the parking lot and that other hand was still up by the door. So, here is this woman with one hand up by the door not moving it. One hand is digging through her purse. One leg is planted on the ground. The other leg is trying to keep the toddler in her jammies within reach. Any guesses?

Suddenly, the lady looks relieved and pulls her keys out of her purse. She frantically hits buttons, opens the back door again (child is walking off), and pulls her hand out of the door jam. Bless her heart (this is my southern way of saying "oh, that poor dumb sweet girl"). She runs to swoop up her wandering toddler before (thankfully) she walks too far away, grabs her purse, and holds up her arm. Yep, you may have figured it out....This is about the time that I realized that this was happening to me. I hold up my hand as blood was pouring all over my hand, arm and jeans. Fortunately, a nice (an angel from God) that works for Target happened to be in the bathroom and helped me. By the way, Target does not have paper towels only blowie things that will not help you in such circumstances as these. I think I would have completely passed out...not because of the pain but because of the blood if she had not been there!

Well, that was my mama drama for the day...heck, that should cover me for a few months or maybe the year?! I'm thinking my poor thumb nail may not survive...it makes me nauseous to even think about it. It's actually a great story to tell...if only I was actually watching it happen to someone else! Did you notice my adjectives that I used to describe the lady:)? hee hee I figured I deserved those after my ordeal!

I love it, I love it not...

I have been talking to friends lately about being a mom, especially a stay at home mom...
It reminds me of pulling a petal off at a time...

I love it...
              I love it not...
                                 
More on that on a different day...there is only so much time when you have a houseful of people running fever and tired of being tired!

I have truly realized one thing that I absolutely LOVE about being a MOM.

I love seeing myself through their eyes. Well, I do most of the time.

Little Bit was crying yesterday in her bed. While I am getting ready to head upstairs to get her, I hear in the intercom, "It's okay sweet baby. Don't cry. LaLa is right here."

Hubby brought girls a balloon (big hit in our world) to cheer them up from feeling bad yesterday. Little Bit runs saying "Oh, gaw." I laughed saying where in the world did she get that from? My husband laughed saying she sounds just like me....oops!:)

At the super bowl party, LaLa was in the craft/office room playing with some other kids. I heard her tell one of the toddlers as they were "creating" art work, "Don't be vusterated. You just have to do your very best. See you can do it. This is great work." (hmmm...I believe she has heard those same words in our craft attempts!)

Again, at the party, I see LaLa give a little boy a toy and say, "I'm so glad you're here. Make yourself at home. You can play with any of my toys." (hee hee...she probably shares better than I do though.)

Little Bit dropped her bowl of puffs. She promptly drops the entire bowl, puts both palms on her forehead and said, "Oh, no!" (surely, I am not that dramatic!)

LaLa waiting at the top of the stairs for her daddy to come tuck her in (for the fifth time...at least) yells, "Roooobeeert, I've already asked you nicely twice!" (oops! sounded just like me. I may have to work on that one!)

At the doctor yesterday, LaLa whined and asked how much longer do we have to wait. (yeah, I am one of those crazy moms that won't let her touch anything in the sick room.) I told her not much longer and encouraged her to play I spy with me. She said, "Mommy, do you have any paper or a pen in your purse?" I told her yes and gave it to her asking her if she was going to draw a picture. She said, "No, mommy, I'm trying to write my list of what I'm going to do later." (the OCD is genetic...isn't it?)

LaLa walking by the chair accidentally stubbed her toe on it. She promptly replies, "Shoot!" and kept walking. (hmm...need to work on that one too)

Last but not least...Last night, she and I both felt completely horrible. Thinking she was enthralled in her movie and cuddled on the couch, I collapsed on the floor (which actually felt wonderful to just be able to stop moving). I suddenly felt a blanket being pulled haphazardly over me. I looked up to see LaLa covering me up and running to get me a pillow. Then, she sat beside me moving my hair out of my face saying, "just close your eyes and rest. I'll make you better." (What a sweet baby!)

It's that wonderful moment that I feel like she is growing up right...like maybe by the grace of God, I am doing this mama thing right. It may only last for a second, but that second makes me love being a mom.

Surviving Mondays...

Mondays are rough...

Imagine the theme song I will Survive... as you read this post...

My kids are so off kilter after a weekend of fun and no schedules. I have noticed even if we are home all weekend, we still seem to struggle on Mondays from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed.  It reminds me of those little Garfield comics that say "I hate Mondays".

We were very excited to host our young marrieds group at church for Super Bowl Sunday. We had a great turn out. In fact, I'm just hoping that I had the opportunity to at least say hello to everyone that came yesterday! With all the kids and the adults, I wasn't sure! I was excited to meet a lot of families that I didn't know! What counts is everyone seemed to have a great time and have plenty of food to eat! Ah, the food was simply wonderful. Each family brought an appetizer. Who couldn't make a meal out of that?!

First, let me say that my hubby quite surprised me and was a LOT of help in getting everything ready for party time. Unfortunately, I think being out of town and trying to catch up on work and everything else finally hit Robert last night. He woke up feeling pretty rough. He doesn't get sick often, but when he does, it is like having a really big sick child. He does not like being sick at all. About an hour after he woke up, Little Bit woke up. (She has been waking up almost every night since we got back from our trip. She cries for about an hour, wants to play or walk around for another hour, and then she goes back to sleep.

She has no sick symptoms....so I am cluesless...and quite sleepy lately!) The hour after Little Bit had finally stopped crying, LaLa woke up very, very whiny saying her back hurt and she had a cough. I told her I haven't heard her cough at all. My comment was followed by "cough, cough". I gave both kiddos tylenol, read some books, and put everyone back in bed. (Shhh...don't tell, but this desperate mama put on a video and left them in their beds to watch it and fall asleep. It worked.) However, poor Robert was up the rest of the night. By the time he crawled out of bed to go to work, I slept an hour until the girls woke up.
LaLa had a fever this morning...still with no symptoms. Although she is tired, she seems fine now.

They are dropping like flies in my house! AND, I feel like a zombie! My vote is we have all just been on the go too much and maybe we need rest. Maybe it is all the food they ate at the party. You know what they say about too much of a good thing. I'm just hoping it's not anything else! I'm lysoling everything in case they have cooties. I'm sure Robert wasn't sure about my concern when I was bringing him medicine, crackers, and sprite with a can of lysol last night!

I may just pack up all of us and go the doctor before the week is over! Well, in my sleepy and cranky state, I thought I would share a bit of our craziness that keeps us smiling...even with no sleep!
As I was cleaning last week for the Super Bowl Party at our house, I mentally patted myself on the back (okay, maybe I really patted myself on the back) that I had gotten so much done! First mama mistake...I know it was a rookie mistake. It's like saying you never get a ticket. With a statement like that, you will get one...soon.

I came around the corner (fortunately, this was one of the things that I had cleaned that day!) only to find my child laughing and squealing.

There she was fully clothed in the potty! Do you notice that she had moved the stool over the potty? She must have figured out how to open the lid (new source of problem in our house!), moved the stool, climbed up and got in?! She promptly said, "Good Girl, Bath!" Of course, I laughed, grabbed my camera, and said, "Say Cheese!" What else can you do but laugh?

There's not much time left until the giveaway is over! Check back tomorrow to see if you are the winner!

Sing & Dance Like No One is Watching...

Don't you wish you could just sing and dance with no inhibitions? I'm sure it feels great. I, however, embarrass myself...even when no one is watching!

It's Monday. Do you need a laugh?    My daughter has just fallen in love with the chipmunks after seeing their sequel or "squeakel". She came home singing the "single ladies" and "you better put a ring on it". Most people think she is saying "singing ladies" so at least they don't think we are jamming out to Beyonce with our three year old all the time! Over the weekend, LaLa told us where to sit so she could have an audience. Then, she went up to her "stage" to perform her song and dance. Everytime I watch it, it just makes me laugh so hard! I hope you enjoy her entertainment just as much as we did! In her world, she's a singing and dancing star!

Enjoy your Monday and the Video.  Take a moment to laugh.

Where Has The Drama Gone?

Oh, don't worry! This mama's drama is still here...just slacking on the blogging scene! It's drama filled and simply wonderful! That is the unexplainable thing about being a mama...the good, the bad, and the ugly is still fantastic because it's with your family!

I am simply blogging today to share updates from our crazy world!

1. We have decided...as of this moment (you know how my brain works) to homeschool the girls next year. I have made a list (actually multiple lists) of ideas and pros and cons. I'm very intimidated and excited. As I was making my lists, the pros and cons were usually the same items! I'll share my crazy, conjured fears and anxieties on another day!

2. We are beating the colds and runny noses going around in our house. I think everyone is feeling better! Let me just say that I am so tired of runny noses! I have figured out a couple of things...Butt Paste or A&D Ointment is perfect to put on sore noses. I also discovered that Highland's products are great. They are homeopathic and have no side effects. Also, cloth diapers are great to wipe noses...my children call them snotty rags, which makes me laugh. Baby wipes are not good to wipe noses. They burn.

3. Crayons and markers should be put up and out of little hands reach. The dogs and children in my life are determined to put the markers in their mouth, write on non-paper items, and/or eat them. Yes, I buy only non toxic everything for this reason. Previously, I thought it would hamper their creativity to put such things out of their reach. Now, I may throw them out the windows...so I opted on just trying to put them out of their reach for now!

4. My husband and I have fun, exciting news that is very rare in our world. First, we are going out on a date...like a real date where you leave your house and without children...this weekend. I am leaving my children with my husband and going to a friend's house to scrapbook this weekend. My scrapbooks have been neglected for several years so I am thrilled...and I hope my house and children survive without me here! The best is still coming. You will never, ever believe it. You will be so jealous. You might hunt me down just to bop me on the head. We are going on a cruise. We are validating it by saying it's for my 30th birthday, his birthday, our Valentines day, and our anniversary present. (I'm thinking maybe he'll forget about it by my birthday and still get me something wonderful! ha-ha) My mom will be watching our girls, and we are going away. My husband is eagerly researching excursions and events on the cruise. I plan to sleep, eat, read, and write...in that order! I will even be able to go potty and shower without little heads peeking in to ask what I am doing! You can only understand the great appreciation of that if you have small children!

5. Last but not least, I have made it a goal of mine to work more consistently on writing. A friend of mine is a great writer. She writes primarily about marriage, couples, and love, which we all need guidance in! She has become a great source of information and encouragement in my quest to be a writer. I have several submissions that I will be working on over the next few months. I am hoping just one gets accepted! I think a lot of times we never try things because we just don't want to fail. However, if we don't try, we will never know! I'm trying to throw out the excuses and FOCUS (oooh...there's my word for 2010 again!). Feel free to keep me accountable! Just drive me crazy until I can finally say that I have done it!

Now, after all of those updates and ramblings, you can probably understand why our mama drama is in high intensity! Since I did not leave you with much inspiration, I will share this link. Click on the different links on the bottom of the post. Be prepared to waste lots of time, make lists of projects you want to try, and be inspired! Good luck!

Baby Blunder!

My three year old, LaLa, recently asked me if we could have another baby. I said maybe she could have one for her birthday...thinking she was requesting a new baby doll. However, she said, "No, mama, not from wal-mart (note to self...I obviously go to wal-mart too often). I want you to get a baby sister or a baby bruder from the cabbages. Make sure to pull it up out of the cabbage to make sure it's a boy one. I probably should get a boy one since I have a sister one already. If you get it mixed up though, it doesn't matter." I just looked at her so confused. Cabbage? Sister? Brother? I respond, "What in the world are you talking about?" "Maaammaaa, you know...." I changed the subject to a subject that I knew she would gravitate to...her birthday. Fortunately, she went for it because I was so confused.

Later, out of nowhere, I remembered! I was so excited that my child wasn't losing her marbles, and I was overjoyed that I figured out what she was talking about. Over New Year's weekend we went to the mountains and visited the Cabbage Patch Babyland in Cleveland, Georgia. It made sense now! My three year old has decided that babies come from cabbages! It took me a few hours, but I finally understood.

I went back to LaLa and told her I understood what she was talking about earlier. I also told her the cabbage patch dolls come from the cabbages not real babies. She looked at me with a serious expression and said, "Mama, let's not even talk about that right now." Then, she ran off to find her sister telling the one year old, "Sorry, it was just mommy. She always has to talk to me!"

Maybe I'll just let her think babies come from cabbages...a bit longer! Next time, she is going to be looking in Publix for cabbages in order to find a baby sister or "bruder"! Oooooh....I'll just tell her we don't have a coupon....maybe next time!

A Christmas Deal & a Confused Mama!

A Deal...
A friend of mine called me yesterday with some exciting news! She had just shopped at Toys R' Us and discovered...on accident...that the Dream Time Playskool products were on sale. Not just on sale...but ON SALE! If you have a little girl (or maybe even a little boy) in your life, you really need to check these out. They are marked down. Then, they are marked down an additional 70%. I purchased the Sweet Lily Dream Town Castle and some of the accessories. The Rose Petal Cottage and the castle were $29.99 each. The 'furniture' was $7 to $10, and the food and accessories were $5 to $9. Normally, the furniture is about 45 dollars! I am already finished with my Christmas shopping, but I am putting these up for LaLa or Little Bit's birthday.

& a CONFUSED Mama...
On a side note, I have to tell you about just one of our crazy moments...yes, one of many!

"Mommy, can I have gum?”

"No, LaLa, no gum."

"Then, why do I have gum in my mouth?"

"LaLa, where did you get gum?" (We don't do gum in our house...until your five...I don't know what I am going to do when she actually turns five and wants gum. She currently thinks this is law of the world right along with the speed limit.) "Open your mouth!" LaLa opens her mouth confused.

I look into her mouth. "LaLa, nothing is in your mouth."

"The dentist at preschool said I have to clean my gum and my teeth so they're healthy."

"Oh, yeah, you do, but your gums in your mouth are different than bubble gum or chewing gum. Then, I try to point out her gums in her mouth."

She shakes her head at me and says, "Oh, mommy, you get so confused sometimes."

By the end of this conversation, well, by the end of most conversations with LaLa...I am thoroughly confused!

Mama Drama Rule #88: Sometimes as a mama, you just have to smile, shake your head and nod! Some of the best conversations that you will have with your children will be those that do not make any sense!

My Kids are Bouncing Off the Walls!

Can you find what's wrong with this picture? Hmmm...where do I start? First, in Georgia, we have had some cold, yucky, rainy weather. Unfortunately, we cannot get rain and freezing weather at the same time! A snowy Christmas would be great, but it seems that we are only getting one or the other.

Now, what do you do with two little ones that are going stir crazy? One day last week, I was in this predicament! It's too cold or wet to go outside. Mama has a lot on her to-do list trying to get gifts made and/or wrapped, goody bags fixed, baking completed and so on. Well, I got to the point of desperation. On one of my trips out to the garage, this box with our jumpy house caught my eye. Yes, I inflated it in my living room! I told you it was desperation. I thought my kids were bouncing off the walls before. Now, they were actually bouncing off the walls! Fortunately, the jumpy house worked perfectly. They were completely entertained for almost an hour! This is amazing for a three year old and a one year old! At one point, I realized that this was probably the longest consecutive time that I have had to accomplish tasks in a very, very long time!

They were amused for so long that I finished a lot of my work, and by the time they were done with the jumpy house, I could have time just for them! I thought the irony was just hilarious that my kids were driving me crazy because they were bouncing off the walls! Who would have thought that letting them literally bounce off the walls would be the solution!

Now, did you find what was wrong with the picture?
1. Bouncy house in my house.
2. My poor Christmas tree lived through the event.
3. Every ball that we own in our house was now placed in the bouncy house.
4. LaLa put a diaper on Little Bit...on the outside of her pants. She said Little Bit asked her to. I doubt that! Thankfully, she still had one on normally!
5. LaLa took her pants off. She said she couldn't jump as high because her pants were heavy.

Does any of that matter if your kids are safe, happy, and entertained? No...not at all!

Mama Drama Rule #88: A jumpy house can be the best way to alleviate your children's wiggles! It's basically a room with rubber walls. They go in as completely crazy, hyper, and driving their parents' nuts; however, they come out calm and completely worn out!

Little Bit tried to eat Baby Jesus!

Have you tried explaining to little ones about Baby Jesus being born in a manger? I have the cutest little Fisher Price Little People Manger Set....see, I'm getting to be a smarter mama...they can't break it! I'm also learning that with little ones...I just can't have those beautiful glass (BREAKABLE) ornaments out and the detailed (BREAKABLE) nativity scene we used to put out BC (before children)! Our Christmas tree is decorated half way down (to avoid our active one year old pulling off ornaments)! In addition, I have wonderful memories of setting up our manger with my little brother as we were kids. I want my kids to be able to manipulate it and play with it, make a lot of memories, but still fully respect and understand the meaning behind it. I bought ours years ago before they had this deluxe version, but it is a wonderful, tough little nativity scene that I would definitely recommend!

LaLa is finally getting where she understands the concept of Santa and Baby Jesus and everything Christmas. Remember teachable moments?! This was a perfect one. I wish there were more child-friendly Christmas centered kind of concepts that we could use! As we were putting it out piece by piece tonight, we talked about the three wise men, what a manger was, why Jesus was born there instead of the inn, what an inn was, why Jesus came to Earth, etc.

When you push the angel on the top of the manger, it sings Away in the Manger. Of course, we had to sing along with the angel. When the song says, "no crib for a bed," LaLa just could not understand this part because Jesus is lying in a "crib"-like thing in our manger. I explained (I thought well and simply) that it was what the animals ate out of, but that is all they had for Baby Jesus in the manger. As she put out the animals around the manger scene, she insisted that all the camels, the sheep, the horses, etc. were far away from the manger, which I thought was kind of odd. However, out of desperation that it was way past bath and bedtime, I just accepted her way and moved on with the task at hand. Little Bit sat intently the majority of the time and watched us. Periodically, she would point to baby Jesus and say, "baby". Little Bit would say, "no, that's baby Jesus."

Finally, our manger scene was all set up. I started to gather the girls up to go upstairs for baths and beds only to find Little Bit over by the manger scene with baby Jesus in her mouth. LaLa squealed her dramatic, ear-piercing scream followed by, "Nooooooooo, stoooop, you're eating BABY JEEEESUUUUS!" and snatched it away. She continued to coddle and rock this little baby Jesus figure saying..."I know your mommy had to put you in the animal's food because you didn't have a bed. BUT I put all of the animals far, far away so they wouldn't eat you in their food bowl. I should have put Little Bit far, far away too because now she's ate our baby Jesus. Mommy, maybe you should put our manger up higher before she gets a chance to take a bigger bite next time."

I thought it was even funnier that on amazon they have replacement baby Jesus'....just in case....I bookmarked it:).

Other nativity scene ideas and crafts:
homemade nativity scenes
Fisher Price's little people nativity set (also at Walmart...a bit cheaper)
Coloring Sheets of baby Jesus in Manger
Nativity Scene coloring sheets
Wonderful Site with lots of great ideas...nativity
Story of Baby Jesus...in Child-friendly language (This is a favorite site of mine that I use often with our little awana group at church)

Mama Drama Rule #82: Children are never too young to understand the special gift that God gave us!

I Want to Be a Princess...

Okay, so this is my random post for today. I have to say it was thought provoking for me as my three year old innocently made this comment over the weekend. First is my disclaimer: I know that this is often a sensitive issue so please take it as a child's completely innocent thought and a comment that should create inspiration or be a thought provoking statement to anybody...of any background.

We had family over most of the last week for the holidays. You know how it is...where you have to recover after having company and a holiday. Kids have been off schedule, excitement has been brewing, house is in disarray, and so on, but the memories always outweigh the chaos. As we were recovering from all of this holiday fun, I am so glad that I didn't miss this particular comment LaLa made. Have you heard of the new princess movie that is coming out in December? I believe it is the Princess Frog. We really enjoy Disney, the movies, and...well, everything else...especially with two princess-obsessed girls...and my husband-the Disney fanatic of them all! We have really been anticipating this movie coming out.

Well, the commercial for the movie came on the television. LaLa looked up at me and said, "Mama, I don't have that princess dress. I want to dress up like Tiana." I said, "No, we don't have that one. Maybe that can be something you ask Santa for." LaLa responds, "Yeah, mama, that's a great idea. I just need her beautiful dress, put my hair up, and hey, mama, can you paint my face brown like that?" Now, this response caused me to pause a minute. First of all, I didn't realize what she was talking about at first. Then, I realized how innocent children are to issues such as race. I wish adults could be that innocent as well. After that, I wasn't sure how to answer. I can just see her wanting me to paint her face brown, dress up like the beautiful princess, Tiana, and insist on wearing her costume on an outing. Honestly, I wouldn't mind doing it because I know it is just part of her imagination. However, can you imagine? She would definitely cause quite a commotion.

However, ultimately, it made me realize that lots of little girls from other races have probably felt the same way. I guess that little statement from LaLa made me realize that children are innocent and sincere. All they know is they want to be a princess...white, yellow, red, or black. If the princess is different from the way you look, they innocently want to be different to look like a "princess"...or the way the princess is portrayed.

So, first, I applaud Disney (although I wish it was done a long time ago) on varying their princesses to look like all the different little girls of the world that desire to be a princess. Princesses aren't just one color...and it has to be hard for little girls that mostly see princesses as one color. More importantly, I also encourage all mamas to really encourage their little princesses to know that it's what is on the inside that makes a true princess.

I remind my girls...Christ is our Heavenly Father and King of Kings...that makes us all princesses...don't let anyone ever tell you anything different!

Mama Drama Rule #79: Your kids will often teach you more than you teach them in life! I know my kids do!

Can I just hide in a closet and take a quick nap? Do you think my kids would notice?

Our newest drama is sleeping. Yes, sleeping. I've always been a napper and a late owl. I am most productive late at night, but I would always take a good nap the next day. Well, kids obviously throw a wrench in this theory! My kids have never, ever been good sleepers. I have all of the books on children sleeping. I've actually read them, highlighted parts, and implemented them. Let me just tell you....It doesn't work on my kids. Something will work for a little while. Then, just when I start becoming human again after gaining much-needed sleep, they start waking up again. I remember time after time sitting in a restaurant or church admiring a sweet little baby. Their parents would comment on how their baby is sleeping 8-10 hours a night already. I smile, but I am really yelling at them profusely in my head. If your baby sleeps, don't tell a sleep-deprived mama!

I remember before children (BC) not being concerned with the lack of sleep that children caused. I would come home from teaching and take a nap. I remember hearing other coworkers complain, but I never truly understood their need for sleep! I thought my husband and I would alternate on taking care of the kids so we could both sleep. What was I thinking? My husband suddenly became capable of sleeping through a tornado when we had our first daughter. I thought, I will just hire a nanny or a sitter to take care of them during the day so I can rest. Again, what was I thinking? Did I win the lottery? I was one of those that had never been around babies or small children (younger than school age). I, seriously, had no idea. I guess that is why I have learned so much as a mama!

I became very scared when I realized that life with children was so much different that what I had envisions BC. I had to learn quick and learn well. Thus, became my obsession with these books! I love school. I know, I'm a nerd. I loved getting my doctorate. It was new and exciting. Surely, someone with a doctorate, with a background in child development, can get their child to sleep. I'll just read some more books. I'll just write this author. Perhaps the author has some valuable information that they did not disclose in their book. Let me just tell you, my kids still do not sleep regularly. I think it's a myth that other parents tell each other just to make you jealous...and insane!

Our current sleep situation is odd, but it is working for us right now. LaLa is currently sleeping on this little pull out sofa the girls have on the floor of Little Bit's nursery. I'm serious. She has a queen size beautiful bed in her room, but she insists on sleeping in her sister's room. Getting them to sleep takes some threats, some incentives, some coddling, a lot of patience, and some time. Little Bit stands in her crib saying, "No, no, LaLa. Bye, Bye, LaLa." I think in baby language that is "Get out of my room you crazy sister! I want to go to sleep. Don't make me climb out of my crib again and kick you out." Eventually, though, they both go to sleep. Once they are asleep, they are staying asleep until the morning.

At that blissful moment, when I know both girls are asleep, I take the biggest sigh. I might even do a giddy dance around the house...or maybe just in my head because at this point I am usually too tired to do anything! I just want to know what happen to my BC dreams of rocking a sweet child to sleep, singing a lullaby, and waking them up sweetly the next morning after 8-10 hours of sleep??

Mama Drama Rule #73: Ignorance can be bliss...until reality hits!

My Lost Love

My lost love was once so near to me...

I loved when we had time together, sharing our memories, and enjoying all the details.

I remember when we treasured each moment.

A day didn't go by that I didn't think of a time we could share some more time together.

So many memories and treasured moments have now gone by...without a chance to share them with you.

No chance to pull out my cardstock. No chance to pull out my embellishments. No time to plan pages.

Now, every time I walk by your section in a store, I wince at the lost moments and how far behind that we have gotten. Every time I develop pictures and haphazardly put them in boxes to get to later, I feel a sad, but empty feeling. I know they deserve a special place on an 12 by 12 page, surrounded by journal notes, and cutouts and embellishments.

Yes, my lost love is missed. It's something you know you should have invested more time in, but then time went by and you got so far behind that it just seems a lost cause now.

Other hobbies and interests invaded my world. Small little children took over my extra time.

Yes, my little scrapbook corner sits there with dust collecting, calling my name. Poor Little Bit's baby scrapbook is only an idea...LaLa's is pretty cute--to bad it's only her first year...and she is now almost four! Maybe when both of my girls in college one day, I can knock the dust off, open their neglected scrapbooks and begin again to reconnect with my lost love--scrapbooking.

Mama Drama Rule #67: The plans you had of all the wonderful things you were going to do for and with your kids often change once the kids actually come! Although it's difficult, try not to hold yourself to those BC (before children) expectations! I try to remember that making the memories are much more important than having them scrapbooked in a cute album!

This Mama Might Be Crazy...

LaLa riding a horse at Rock Ranch in Rock, Ga. This was a great place full of Fall Festivities that was really reasonable! It was a great day with pony rides, a petting zoo, slides, jumpy houses, booths with crafts, yummy food, a corn maze, and so much more!

The nicest lady let Little Bit even join in the fun on the bouncy house. I had to climb in too and sit in the corner...just in case, but Little Bit bounced and tried her hardest to jump along with the bigger kids. It was a little trickier to convince her to get out...while I was trying to get my big old hiney out of the little net opening too!

The Rock Ranch is a place that was created by Truett Cathy, the owner of Chick-fil-a. We visit this particular place quite often because it is really the only fast food that we will eat. I always tell people the oddest things happen to me...I'm really not kidding. I guess I just bring out the crazy in people!

Recently, I went to Chick-fil-a one morning to get breakfast for me, a friend, and her family. She had just gotten home from a surgery so I was trying to bring something that would sound good for her to eat. Well, I place my order at the drive thru and continue to wait behind the other cars in the drive thru. A man exits the restaurant and walks directly in front of my car (I have a 2006 H3) lays both of his hands on my hood, looks up, and says in a deep, bellowing voice...like something off of Saturday Night Live..."Oh, Faithful God, thank you for blessing me with such a vehicle to drive. You have blessed me beyond immeasurable amounts (or something like that...I couldn't catch the very end.)" Then, he raises his hands to the sky, and says, "Thank you, oh, almighty God." He nods his head to me and walks off.

Now, I believe in God without question, but this was a new one for me...what in the world? I didn't know what to do. I was actually just sitting in my car waiting to drive to the window for my food, talking on my cell phone to my husband. As I was listening to the man, my husband was going, "Tammy, Tammy, are you there." I'm thankful for my car...but it's not like something that would catch your eye different from any other car...so, what in the world?!

I just bring the crazy out of people! Interesting, huh?

Mama Drama Rule #60: When you can still identify crazy as crazy, I think that means you're still on the right side of sanity! It's when you can't tell if it's crazy that you should wonder...just which side of sanity you are on!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...Don't you know...

LaLa sang this song, "Rain, rain, go away...don't you know we're here today." Then, she would look up at me, and say "Mama, it's not listening!" I'm sure the grown ups all around her was thinking the same thing. Hey, rain...do you know how tough it is to get kids to stone mountain. Do you know how much tougher it is to slosh through rain and cold? Do you know how much our tickets cost? Ultimately, you can't control the weather...and very little else in life...so try to make the best of it! That was our lesson of the day! Once I got over the drama of parking and the surprise of rain...I got into the spirit of the day...and the kids joined in shortly after!

Note to self...one year olds do not do much with pumpkins besides try to eat them or throw them like a ball. I have tried tirelessly to teach Little Bit to say PUMPKIN. She looks at me, cocks her head to the side, points, and say BALL! Little Bit painted pumpkins in the arts & craft section while Little Bit chewed on hers whenever I wasn't looking.

I don't know how photographers do it. My kids will not be still for a picture whatsoever. Let me point out though that Little Bit was happy to be free from the stroller and was going to make a break from it. LaLa had a bag of candy from the scavenger hunt and from the candy shoppe. I have one foot on the stroller because our umbrellas, pumpkins, and bags are weighing down the back of it...if I move my foot once Little Bit is out, the stroller flips (can't someone invent something for this.) I stayed up several nights working on their cute outfits...let me point out that only the waitress at the restaurant ever even got to see them because of the cold! My shutter speed is not fast enough for the speed of a toddler and a preschooler! Random people stopped to stare at me attempting to take this picture...feel free to volunteer to help when you see a poor mama trying so hard without help attempt to capture a picture!

As we were coming out of the candy shoppe, my LaLa opened the door so I could push Little Bit out of the store in the stroller. She was very helpful, fortunately. A lady was coming in at the same time as LaLa pushed the door open. LaLa looked up and told her she was the door holder today for mommy. The lady looked at me and said, "He is a very good helper." My LaLa looked at her with her forehead wrinkled and continued to proclaim, "I'm not a he. That's a boy! I'm a she. That's a girl. I have a woo hoo (use your imagination), mommy. Tell her to say she." Okay, now what do you say to that?! I just smiled and kept walking...hoping LaLa would follow, and I tried to explain that maybe because she was wearing a black hat like some boys. LaLa had a response for everything. No, mommy...girls can wear black. Well, yep, that's right. Now, I don't think either of my girls looked like boys...they both had ruffles on their pants, wore orange and black for the most part, had monogrammed jackets or hats, polka dot shoes with bows ont hem, ruffly, girl, jackets...BUT that lady at the candy shoppe called LaLa a HE and another lady called Little Bit handsome?! I just finally (out of desperation) explained to LaLa that maybe she couldn't see well. BUT now the entire stone mountain village knows that LaLa has a woohoo and will not mistake her for a he! At least she's not intimidated to stand up for herself when she knows she's right!

MAMA DRAMA RULE #59: When you get stuck with your kids in a mama "bind" (ya know when your kids say something "inappropriate but honest"...the best you can do is smile your biggest smile....and ESCAPE...FAST!

Tweezers, a nose, and a mama driven to drink...

I'm veering off my plan of posting about part two of my coupons...I'll go back...but I had to share about how my LaLa literally drove me to drink last night. Seriously, I, as well as friends, have always joked, "oh, my kids are driving me crazy...etc. etc., but all of us rarely, rarely drink." Well, let me tell you...after LaLa's experience last night, I sat in a dark bathroom, in the tub, with a large glass of wine to relax my heart beating in my throat!

Sundays are so busy for us. We have church, awana at night that we teach and have to plan for, I usually get my coupons and lists ready, lunch, dinner, naps, straighten the house, get ready for the week, baths, bed, etc. We rush the entire day. Yesterday was one of those days where I'm questioning my sanity and continuously looking behind me to see why my supermom cape is being a dud! We started off well. We were dressed and in the car on time for church...then, I noticed that Little Bit's dress was really more of a shirt...I haven't switch out their summer clothes for fall yet. So, I run in to get another dress...and back in the car. I dress her in the parking lot. We take our drinks (we had volunteered to bring) to our Sunday School class...which we can't stay at because we have nursery the first of every month, take our girls to their classes, do nursery, pack up everyone, and off to lunch. The day goes pretty much the same...

After awana, I insisted that we run in Publix to do our shopping....to put me a little ahead of the week...because I know the week is busy. Two little girls are tired and not happy...and one man that you would think was being tortured by shopping through Publix with his family! (BTW, I did well with my coupons...BUT I am still not doing as well as my friend the wizard! I spent $67 and saved $114 with coupons. I'm still buying stuff to stock our pantry and our necessities (organic milk, bread, eggs, deli meat, fresh fruit, etc) that is hurting my total! I'm working on it though!

We get home...my husband unloads the groceries and I put the girls to bed. Well, LaLa is in this stage where she gets out of bed five hundred times with five hundred excuses. One of the excuses was legit..she was sneezy and getting stuffy because she had helped daddy cut the grass that day. I told her to come on back downstairs and gave her a claritan and some water. She handed me the cup and went upstairs. Minutes later, I hear in an urgent monotone voice, "Moooooommmm, Maaaammmmaaa, Moooommmmmmyyyyy." Yes, all three possible names my girls call me, and it scared me to death! I run to the top of the stairs. She looks at me moving her head very slowly like it might just roll right off and says, "I stuck my sneezy medicine in my nose. It won't come out!" Although I always thought I would be wonderful with emergencies...I'm not...not even a little bit.

There in her nose was a little round purple pill....way up in her nose...I could only see the bottom of it...passed the point of even a finger could reach....and she was getting upset, which just made the pill move up higher. I yell...calmly...well, probably more frantically to my husband to come now and quick.

He calmly says he is getting a tool (tweezers) and it's okay. He works on it for about 15 minutes with no luck. He calmly tells me to go call my parents to see if they can come and watch Little Bit for a while...then, I began to not be able to breathe....because I know this is code for WE ARE GOING TO THE ER. I CANNOT GET IT OUT! I go to call, and just as my mom picks up I hear, "I got it! It's okay." LaLa then breaks down all the sobs and anxiety she had held together while her daddy stuck these squeezy things that "saved her life" according to her!

Now, I have to confess. I told my child that she was so lucky we got it out. And, if she ever, ever did it again, we would probably have to go to the hospital. They would probably have to cut her nose off to get it out. It would probably bleed. There would probably be shots involved. Yep, I wanted to scare the "bujesus" (I have no idea the meaning of this word...it's just the word we use for such a statement.) out of her because not only do I not want her to do it again, but I don't think this mama can handle that drama.

So, that is why my day ended with me sitting in a dark room, in a bathtub, with a very large glass of wine. It gives me the "hibbyjibbies" to just think about it! (another one of those words that I don't know where it came from or what it means...but it's just the appropriate word for such a statement!)

Mama Drama Rule #51: Never stick anything up your nose....ever. Go ahead and scare your kids now so you don't have to experience it...go ahead and throw in any other holes they have in their head as well and make sure you've got yourself covered!

A Mama's Trauma: Am I Being Punked??

I have got to tell you about my experience Friday. I thought I would use Friday to get some things done at our house...you know when the cable guy or the bug man or whoever gives you this random, ridiculous range of time that they plan to maybe come to your house and provide their service. Well, that was my day. I took a day, after I picked LaLa up from Preschool, and made my entire afternoon and evening available to these appointments. Well, the last one left was the bug people to do our monthly service. We've had a lot of rain in Georgia lately, and from what I understand that is why I keep seeing sporadic little ants on my kitchen tile. Hmm...don't care why...just don't want them here!

So, I have an appointment from 2-4. No problem, right? Well, you would think. A friend of mine has an emergency of sorts. And, because I worry about her (she tries to take on the world...all the time) & because she has that super mama syndrome (where she never lets friends help her...hope she's reading this!) and begged her to let me watch her two little girls while she had to run to the doctor. Her girls are both my girls ages so it's perfect playmates. We did puppet shows & played outside...crazy with two one year olds and two three year olds, but it was a lot of fun.

Well, the wonderful bug..let's say technician...had not arrived by four so I called the office. After being transferred twice, they contacted the tech to say they were running an hour late. Well, great, thanks for letting me know! So, we wait. An hour and a half late there is a knock on my door. It was an individual that was so tall she literally seemed to duck walking into my doorway...she wore a uniform bearing the companies name....long braided hair...had a deep voice...seemed kinda stocky, etc. I didn't think twice about it. She asked me what was the problem...I said, "Well, it's our regular monthly service they do, but I have seen a few little black ants on my tile in the last couple weeks and they won't go away." She asked probably a dozen ridiculous questions. Then, she asked, "Are all of these (referring to the children playing behind me) yours?" I explained that two were and two were a friends that had an emergency. She said, "they are just everywhere...talking about the kids." Let me point out that she still hadn't entered the house.

I won't go into the whole ordeal, but she basically told me that she couldn't spray inside because of the kids and couldn't spray outside because they would get chemically burned potentially for the next three weeks. Now, I have had this service for three years so I was concerned she was full of it or they had been doing this at the risk of my family. She asked us to leave...so we left to play outside...again...while she sprayed three rooms...maybe four of my house. Then, she went outside and we came inside. Four different times, she asked me to come outside to discuss bugs. Seriously, one time there was a dead beetle of some kind on the edge of my driveway. She came in, requested I come outside because she had something to discuss. I've never discussed so much with any bug tech ever! I grab one baby on each hip with two concerned preschoolers behind me and follow this person outside to see a cluster of ants on this beetle....seriously!

One time, she had me come outside and see that there were ants near my trashcan that we roll down the driveway. Hmm...imagine that. My husband drove up about then, and she had him move it. He moved it a few yards away looking confused at the chaos he drove up into. She said speaking to me, "See mam, this is why I think you need to have more ant knowledge if you have an ant problem. Sir, (to my husband) move it farther from your home." I told her I have a doctorate degree and ant knowledge was obviously left out of it...but if I had ant knowledge then I wouldn't need her! In response to her comment, my husband looked at me and moved the trash can another few yards away INTO the lot next door where they are building a house...I don't think they're going to go for that either. Our trashcan has been there for six years, and it's never been a problem. Probably because we pay her company to spray monthly!

She wanted to know why I had fences in my house...referring to the child gate at the bottom and the top of my stairs. She said she's never been in a house with fence. Odd person. The list of odd things, which I won't bore you with, continue until the grand finale!

Since we are trying to avoid being in the house...you know because she scared us to death of being in our house after she sprayed for our ants (seriously, I have seen maybe 10-20 in three weeks). We decided to take the kids...all four...for a walk. I didn't want to leave this odd person alone in my house so I asked if she was finished (as she was putting her equipment away)....I asked if she sprayed the exterior of the house...she said she wouldn't because I have kids! (They have every month for three years...never telling me it's dangerous...by the way, I called and it's not.)

Let me emphasize that four little ones are vying for my attention during all of this. I had already discussed with the tech that our former tech that consistently came out, Kevin, never mentioned these concerns, which made me concerned on what was reality. I look at my husband and say, "Kevin never told me any of this. I can't imagine that it's dangerous or why in the world would they have been doing this service for the last few years."

I continued to say to my husband, "Did he ever mention it to you." The tech turns around and says... I kid you not..."I don't appreciate being called a HE. I'm a transgender, and I've worked very hard to overcome being a HE to be a SHE." WHAT?! Let me repeat...WHAT?! I said, "excuse me?! I don't care if you are a he or a she. I care about the safety of my family and the service that you are here to provide. Your gender is your business, but I was referring to our former tech, Kevin, who was a HE. You are mistaken and you are obviously insecure with whatever you are or were. I'll have someone else come and finish my services." Then, when she/he left...I had to ask my husband what in the world a transgender was. Wow, was I shocked. At first, I thought it was a man dressing up as a girl...just a guess...I don't know!?! Yes, I'm sheltered.

Now, I have a different person coming out next week to do my exterior...at this point...what's the point?! I contacted someone...in California...who laughed hard at the story. I am not at the point of laughing at the situation quite yet! I'm sure I'll get there. I also have supervisor names and corporates phone number...and now, additional stuff to do on my Monday list. Hopefully, at least my friends can get a laugh from my mama trauma! Frustrating to say the least, a learning experience...maybe...made a Friday evening interesting....absolutely!

Mama Drama Rule #47: Sometimes being sheltered can be a blessing in disguise! Remember that with your kiddos! Filter what the world teaches them...there are times at my age I even wish I had a filter from the world's lessons too!