Sex In the City...A Night with the Girls

A friend is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. -Pam Brown

Last night was so so so so so (I could go on and on and on!) much fun! A bunch of girlfriends (and some of their moms and friends) and I all got together to go see Sex in the City...the sequel. Now, this is not a normal movie that I would even like. I never saw any of the shows when they were out on tv. However, the Christmas that I was pregnant with LaLa, Robert bought me the entire set of seasons of Sex in the City. Consequently, he went skiing with some friends for his birthday, and I was left to amuse myself at home and very pregnant. I literally snacked and watched every single episode from the very first season to the last. I was hooked, and I felt like I had met each character personally after our weekend of bonding. By the way, my daughter was named prior to knowing there was a character with her name on the series, but it was kind of fitting after my weekend marathon.

The first Sex in the City movie came out a couple years ago. My girlfriends and some of their moms (they all live a couple hours north of me) went to see the movie together. They were all dressed up, ate dinner, enjoyed some wonderful laughs and memories, and hired a limousine to make the night even more special. I, however, was very, very pregnant with Little Bit. I couldn't go. I know...sad, right? Fortunately, I did have a fellow pregnant friend of mine that went to see the movie with me at a nearby theatre. What is it with me being pregnant and my Sex in the City memories?! Funny, right?

Well, this time...I was not pregnant. I hired a sitter (my marvelous cousin that my girls LOVE), drove a couple hours, and made it to enjoy the experience. We had an expedition limousine. We dressed up as glamorous girls. We transformed into normal women and left our "mom" brains behind for a night. I stayed the night with one of my best friends, Jennifer. She and I were college roommates. It was a great opportunity to actually play with her kids. I'm usually so busy with my own that I have never gotten that one on one time with them. Her husband's big breakfast was perfect too!

I laughed all night. My face genuinely hurt from smiling and laughing. I realized that even after years...we are still the same girls we were five or ten years ago. The group was a combination of friends that have been friends for years, friends of friends, moms of friends, and new friends. Ultimately, I realized that we have gotten married, had kids, and started our lives and careers. Regardless if the girls were my age, younger, or older, if they had been in my life for a day or for years, or whatever...we were all friends. We were all women taking a break from life and enjoying "being women" (you have to see the movie to get that:)!)

It was great to be reminded of that....

It is one of the blessings of friends is that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did I mention that I laughed...all night?! I'm going to so be in trouble for this pic being posted...so enjoy it until she sees it and I'm forced to take remove it. Hee Hee:)

Hold a true friend with BOTH your hands.-Nigerian proverb

A Quick Cure for an achy kind of Day...

Tammy: I have a headache. We don't have anything here to take (especially after all the crazy recalls lately!).  I'm tired and achy. I'm just done.

Robert: Ok, I'll pick you up something on the way home from work.

Robert enters with a couple magazines he swiped from the lobby at work, peanut M&Ms, Advil, and a Coke (which I haven't been keeping in the house to try to cut down on my caffeine addiction!). He even admits that he did try to look for a scrapbook magazine at the store without luck. Then, he eats with the girls and sends me upstairs to eat and watch TV Land (Bewitched). Ah, now I remember why I married him! I wish all guys knew that this kind of stuff means more than expensive items and flowers!

Gotta Do What You Gotta Do!

When is the last time you had the opportunity to sit back and watch a movie with your hubby? If you have small children, it has probably been a while. Going to see a movie takes a great deal of action on your part. You must plan a babysitter, pay a babysitter (ugh), deem a movie wonderful enough to rush there and rush home...maybe go out to eat in the midst of your date if you are feeling advantageous (or if you have made family feel sorry enough for you to babysit for free!) Well, I think Robert and I have solved at least a portion of this dilemma. We work very hard to be creative in order to do fun stuff with little ones and on a budget. It usually involves an act of congress and the begging of family to help orchestrate some time off, but not this time...

A drive in movie... 

Yes, I'm serious. They still have these around, and I have to say that they are GREAT! We visited this one in Atlanta a couple times during the summer. We were newbies to this concept, and we weren't quite prepared. IF you live in or near Atlanta, I highly recommend this idea! I'm sure they are around other areas as well...it may just take a little research first. I didn't even know we had one until this summer AND get this...it's 20-25 minutes away! I know seriously...all this time, I could have actually seen movies when my girls were little...and loud.

My Suggestions for a drive in movie with "younguns'"...

• If they are preschoolers, try explaining the concept. We told LaLa that they play a movie for grown ups on the big screen and made a big deal about letting her choose a movie for the back.
• In our world, we do not let them out of their car seat. If we do, it is all over! They sit in their car seat and watch their movie while we watch ours...the exception is if we have to go potty, but then it is right back in your car seat.
• Bring blankets and lovies to get cozy...and hopefully they will fall asleep.
• Bring lots and lots of snacks.
• Bring dinner for you and your guy.
• Most weekend nights are a double feature. When the girls were younger during the summer, we would have shuffling during the first movie, but we would get to enjoy the second, late night one because they would fall asleep! However, we were quite tired!
• You get to TALK during your movie!
• You can wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt. No one will ever know....unless you go potty!
• Bonus: you can bring ANY food...you don't have to pay for the expensive concessions!
• Bonus: IF your kids do scream or talk, you don't have to leave the movie!
• Put your kids in their jammies. Ours either fall asleep during the movie or on the way home. We just put them in their bed when we get home.

We went out last night. We never got out of our car. We were all in cozy, comfy clothes. We got to see Valentine's Day. Both kids fell asleep in the car. We spent 15 dollars total. Ahhh...sweet success...and I GOT to see a grown up movie!

Do you have any great and sneaky date ideas? A date...even a sneaky one...can be great for your marriage and your mental state as a mama!

So Much Fall...So Little Time!

Yummy homemade chicken noodle soup, grilled cheeses, & fruit salad in a Jack-o-lantern on a rainy, Fall day!

Two Thumbs up from LALA!

I love Fall. I think it's my favorite time of the year...with Spring shortly behind it. You know when you can feel everything changing. It's wonderful how it has such perfect timing. As soon as you're getting burnt out on all the hot weather...here comes wonderful Fall weather with all the fun stuff and holidays fast approaching.

Between all the fun stuff LaLa is doing at pre-school, decorating the house, and enjoying fairs, pumpkin patches, and other fall activities, it feels like we are running everywhere...all the time, I keep thinking....ooooh, we need to do that craft or that fun activity with the kids! I planned our calendar months ago planning some wonderful Fall activity every Saturday this month. There is just so much to do during this wonderful season! My husband constantly reminds me, "Tammy, There is only so much Fall...you can't do it all!" It never hurts to try though!

Well, we have definitely slowed things down this week. The girls haven't been sick...but haven't been well either....you know where you're thinking at any minute you are going to end up at the doctor's office or they are going to start with the fever stuff. They have both had tummy troubles, LaLa a rash over the last two weeks (which the dr. deemed an allergy of all things!). Little Bit has broken two teeth through and has two just about to come through as well, and they are just not their crazy, rambunctious selves. It's funny because on most days...I would give my two front teeth for little girls that were this calm, cuddly, and satisfied just laying around reading or watching a movie. BUT since I know this is the norm for my girls, I'm ready for them to be back to themselves and feeling 100 percent again....even if that means it turns them back into the crazy little monkeys! People think you're crazy when you say your kids aren't sick...but you think they may be getting sick or their little bodies are just trying to fight something....but mamas just know!

We have had some rainy, wet, and cool days lately. So, my mom made chicken noodle soup for all of our families, and we have really enjoyed it! I tried a cute idea from Family Fun where you carve out a jack-o-lantern face on an orange and put fruit salad inside. It was cute and yummy, but I think I need bigger oranges! That is my mission next week because I think these would be extra cute for LaLa's preschool party!

I hope everyone is enjoying their fall too! I love hearing everyone's ideas! It always inspires me with more to add to my list!

Mama Drama Rule #56: Traditions are what make a family's memories. It's something we can give our kids...that they can one day give their own kids!

A Friend's Strength

Hi, everyone! I'm lacking blogging ability today! I have a dear, wonderful friend that just found out recently that she has thyroid cancer. Many of you know that I have faced this awful battle of cancer with my dad over the last couple years and had a scare myself last year. I know the feeling of complete inadequacy and lack of control that this disease gives you. It's hard not knowing what to do and what is going to happen next. We're so used to quick answers and results, and this disease takes all those options away. It's like a wait and see game that tortures your very being because it is so scary and intimidating to just say the word cancer. It seems that cancer has touched everybody in some way.

My friend is 29 years old with two little girls the same age as my little ones. Our families are very close. She is the type of friend that always has an encouraging word and strength to share. She is like support beams for me in my life. I know a visit with her or a quick phone call will lift me up no matter what. I'm blessed to have her, her husband, and her sweet little angels in our lives. She is having surgery tomorrow (actually by my dad's wonderful doctor that did his past surgeries) at 7 am. She will have her thyroid, the mass, and some lymph nodes removed. Her future recovery will involve treatment, medication, and diet changes. Please keep her and her family in your prayers as they go through this scary and transitional time. She is an independent, tough girl and just leaning on others for help and support will be as difficult for her as this upcoming surgery.

I'm writing about this tonight because of so many reasons. First, it's all I'm thinking about right now. Second, my heart is focused in constant prayer. Third, it shows how quick life can change. Fourth and most important, it shows me that we have no control, and we can't rely on ourselves to go through this life. We have to take hold of God's promises to accept Him, live for Him, and ultimately trust and rely on Him.

Just think, here was my friend focused on what her girls are going to be for halloween, starting preschool with her three year old, planning her upcoming birthday, and enjoying the end of the summer when she finds out that she has a large mass in her throat. Then, she finds out it's a solid malignant mass. Wow, how our focuses change when life changes course! Now, she's planning for surgery, childcare, and upcoming recovery and treatment. She is the ultimate example of trusting and using complete faith in God for the strength to face each and every day. I know that God's arms will carry her through each and every battle in this war she is about to begin...

Mama Drama Rule #55: Let Go and Let God have control!

A NOTEworthy Expression of Love

My grandmother (Nannie) sends every member of her family a card on their birthday. It amazes me every year when she remembers my birthday and the birthdays of my little family. The first year that I was married, my husband was included as well. Now, that is no little feat when you consider who is in her “family”. As of my last count, her family includes five daughters, five son-in-laws, eleven grandchildren, six grandchildren-in-laws, and nine great grandchildren. That’s a total of twenty-seven birthdays to remember, cards to purchase, personal notes to write, envelopes to stuff and address, and stamps to lick—not to mention a small fortune in postage! However, each year I receive the card, read the message, put it on the bulletin board, and then I put it away to save. Now, there are very few emails that have ever meant enough to me to display and save!

My other grandmother used to give me books and would always include a letter or note. Now, that she has passed away, I will often accidently come across a book or cookbook and read her letters. It is almost like she is still here. They are precious treasures that I am so glad she took the time to include. Between these written words that my grandmothers made a priority to bless me with, they have made me feel loved even when miles and years have separated us.

It’s so exciting to receive a letter in the mail! It breaks the monotony of the usual contents within the mailbox including bills, junk mail, sales ads, magazines, and such. There is just something about a handwritten letter, note, or card. You know there was an effort that went behind it. Honestly, I usually feel guilty when I receive one! In all honesty, it’s rather difficult to take the time to purchase a card or put the thought into writing a letter. However, that is the treasured part of the letter—the thought put behind it! I often have very good intentions of writing a letter or sending a card. Unfortunately, at times, I will buy the card or write the letter and never send it…the brain lapses that come with “mamahood”! If it means so much to me though, it would definitely mean something to my loved ones. Thus, it is something I should work on doing more frequently and consistently!

Let’s see…how many ways are you “connected” to people. Off the top of my head, I came up with facebook, MySpace, twitter, blogs, emails, texts, phone calls, mail, cell phones, etc... Now, consider, which one you use the least? It is probably the one that means the most. Reflect on how much correspondence that you save from the others? Letters, cards, and notes are probably the ones that are treasured by the most of us. In today’s world, we are used to things being quick, easy, and almost effortless. What did we do before cell phones, email, and televisions? We had no choice but connect to people!

My husband once gave me a wonderful Christmas present—100 things he loves about me. Now, he hates to write anything. My birthday and anniversary cards usually have a couple words and his signature so this particular gift was even more of a treasure. We could learn a lot from my grandmothers! The effort behind the action is what demonstrates the love, and that’s what is treasured and will always be treasured.

I encourage you to sit down and take the time to pour out a sincere letter or card to three people. Most importantly, I’ll remind you not to follow my example and never mail them! Let the people that you care about know that you care about them by writing it down and taking the time and effort. One day, this may give them a sweet memory of how much you cared about them.

Speaking of that, I have thank you notes that I should have mailed out….in JULY!

Mama Drama Rule #19-Make a point to leave a “written” trail of love that can be treasured by those you love!

Project- I am “stealing” my hubby’s great idea and writing my girls both a letter of 100 things I love about them! I want them to know that there are so many things I loved about them…even at their young ages of 1 and 3! I’ll add the pictures as soon as I finish!

Is There an Echo in Here?

Echoes have been on my mind quite a bit lately for so many reasons. First, my kids are both obsessed with echoes. As soon as they figure out that their voice echoes, they will continuously do it and smile…until I acknowledge their talent of echoing or give a good old fashion mama look to stop. The place that it drives me the craziest is the foyer of our church. Of course, as you can imagine, it draws quite a bit of attention. Echoes have also just driven me nuts lately because my LaLa and Little Bit are little echoes in and of themselves! If I say or do something, you can just about guarantee that one of them will repeat it or mimic it. And, they also echo one another….constantly.

Periodically, we have movie night. We make it a really big deal! We make popcorn, eat dinner on blankets in the living room…in our jammies…and settle in for a movie. It’s one of our loved traditions. Tonight, it was Kung Fu Panda. My daughter gets very excited about movie night. After school today, we went to pick up our movie night supplies. We went in Kroger (they have dollar movies) to choose our movie. My kiddos were touching the touch screen just as I would make some progress on the machine. Frustrated, I put Little Bit down and tried to block her in with my legs spread cowboy style while she and LaLa pointed at pictures and letters on the machine. (I’m sure it all looked quite entertaining.) Well, I was just about finished, and LaLa yells “PeeeeeePeeeeeee” ! “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmergencY!” Now, I know that it rarely an actual emergency with LaLa, and I was almost done with this machine so I told LaLa just to hold it for a few more seconds. Please know that there were people waiting behind us too.

As soon as you tell a three year old to “hold” it, they literally grab themselves and HOLD it! I’ve explained that this is not necessary, and obviously, she took none of it to heart! I tried to ignore it as she continuously grabbed herself chanting “peeee peeee, peeeee peeeee, peeeee peeee.” Next thing I know, Little Bit grabs herself (like her big sister) and starts doing the same pee dance yelling “EEEEEE EEEE, EEEEE, EEEEE”. I even had to stop for a moment because this was new for my one year old and quite funny….for a second. You could tell the people that had kids from the people that didn’t. I had looks from what is wrong with your kids to pure pity to genuine amusement! Finally, I scanned my card, grabbed our movies, and my little echoes and we all ran for the potty. One simple task turned out to be quite an ordeal, but we survived and accomplished our mission!

My kids have picked up on this concept of echoing quite innocently, but if you think about it, we do this as adults quite often unintentionally. We tend to “echo” who we spend our time around. If they are positive and uplifting, then, usually, we are too. If they have positive habits, then we will more than likely pick up on those same habits. We are almost unconsciously “inspired”…by others, but the same thing can be said for the opposite spectrum of that. Negative behaviors tend to echo negative associations. If you think about it, we have all been on that “negative” side. How many times have we mamas been in a bad mood or stressed and it becomes contagious? It creates an echo effect!

A Chinese Proverb says, “A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles”. If you replace “word” with “deed” or “attitude” or “mood” or any of the such, the same truth is still evident. I have to be even extra cautious lately because I could become “echoed” at any moment. What about all the times that I am echoed and don’t even realize it? Could it be the time I gossiped? Could it be the time I lost my patience with my kids, my husband, or the cell phone lady that didn’t know what she was doing? Could it be the time that I missed an opportunity to say I love you or thank you? I usually don’t even realize who my echo touches.

Mama Drama Rule #17: In everything you say and in everything you do, imagine you are being echoed loudly by your loved ones….would you be saying and doing the same things? If not, watch out for that echo. Its reach is farther than you may think.

This Season of Our Life

Everything has seasons. Even the Bible reiterates that in Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes 3 says, “For everything there is a season…”

I never thought about our own lives having seasons. I have a friend that always compares what ministries she is involved in with what season she is in life. The older I get, I realize exactly how much this is true in my life. These seasons evolve as where we are in life change—getting married, being pregnant, having babies, working, not working, having teenagers, retiring, etc. Our children even go through these “seasons” in life. We often call them “phases”. As these seasons change, our relationships with our children change. I have a completely different relationship with my mother since I have had children. It is now more of a mentor relationship just as much as it’s a mother/daughter relationship. Has our love changed? No, our relationship has just changed as our seasons—where we are in life—has changed.

All relationships must evolve and grow as you go through different seasons in life. Marriages and friendships must change with what season you are in life too. In part, I believe this is why the divorce rate is so high. In addition, this is why friendships grow closer and farther apart. Partners refuse to evolve with the seasonal changes. It takes work, understanding, and acceptance. If you left your yard untouched for an entire year, what would happen? It wouldn’t be pretty, would it? Regular upkeep and maintenance during seasonal changes is what keeps the yard looking nice. Relationships are the same way.

I had this conversation recently with a friend of mine. When you have children, one of your biggest fears is that you’ll lose your single friends or friends that don’t have children. You don’t lose these friends, but you can’t maintain the same relationship you had BC (before children). You are on a new timetable with new priorities. The problems arise when you try to resist the season of your life changing.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart”—Elisabeth Foley. Relationships change as we change. We must accept that and embrace it in order to get more out of them. For example, I can’t expect my husband to be the same person he was when we dated. We are closer and stronger, now, because we have both changed as our seasons in life have changed. Relationship should lift you up…not bring you down. It should bring acceptance and compliment who you are. No one other than God should complete you or fulfill you. Samuel Johnson said, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; one should keep his friendships in constant repair.”

Mama Drama Rule #3: Treasure the season of life that you are in right now. It will change, and you will change with it. Know your season so you can enjoy it to the fullest. Know your season so you aren’t trying to get tulips to bloom in the middle of the winter! If it is being a wife and mother, cultivate that season!