Any Complaints?

My first thought on complaints...I don't complain. I just listen to complaints. Ummm...then again, that's not quite true. I just went upstairs where my husband had bathed the kids (don't give him too much credit yet...I was cleaning up dinner and making his lunch for tomorrow). I "tagged" him out as he brought them into their room to get their jammies on and teeth brushed so he could go play work in the yard with some new yard tools. After prayers were said, books read, multiple requests granted and denied, covers tucked and so on, I finally left the girls. I entered their bathroom to replace their toothbrushes from the counter, and I discovered clothes on the floor, the tub still filled, toys littering the floor and the tub, shampoo open in abandoned in the tub of water.

Did I complain? Yep...marched my five foot feisty self outside and tried to yell my complaints over the weed eater only to find that he still couldn't hear me between his singing and the IPod turned up to unbelievable decibels. Then, I complained that he is too old to be listening to music that loud. (My husband suffers from the delusion that he is a teenager at times rather than a man in his thirties...most of the time~emphasis on most~ I love that about him.) However, after discovering the bathroom mess was not a moment where that love for his lust at youth was inspired!

Did it do any good? Nope...not at all. Did I exemplify a servant’s heart? Nope...not at all. Did I feel better? Nope...maybe for a minute. Actually, I probably could have cleaned it up faster than going out to complain about it. Then, I find myself wondering where my kids learn to complain...about it being too hot, or being bored, or some food they don't like. I guess tonight I answered my question. I also remembered a Bible verse that I haven't thought of in a long time.

Do everything without complaining or arguing (Ph. 2:14).


By the way, I went outside to snap a shot of him with my camera during his yard work and loud music escapade. He didn't even bat an eye. Without even inquiring as to why I was taking his picture, he stopped, looked at me, let me take the picture, and continued singing and weed eating.

What can I say? Thanks God for the lesson!:) Seems like I'm learning several this week...

A Quick Cure for an achy kind of Day...

Tammy: I have a headache. We don't have anything here to take (especially after all the crazy recalls lately!).  I'm tired and achy. I'm just done.

Robert: Ok, I'll pick you up something on the way home from work.

Robert enters with a couple magazines he swiped from the lobby at work, peanut M&Ms, Advil, and a Coke (which I haven't been keeping in the house to try to cut down on my caffeine addiction!). He even admits that he did try to look for a scrapbook magazine at the store without luck. Then, he eats with the girls and sends me upstairs to eat and watch TV Land (Bewitched). Ah, now I remember why I married him! I wish all guys knew that this kind of stuff means more than expensive items and flowers!

The BEST date EVER

My husband is not going to like this post...
Curious now...aren't you?!:)

I went on the best DATE ever last Saturday night, but it was not with my husband. He was actually watching the children.

That sounds more interesting than it really was!

I actually went on a date with a girlfriend. Dates with my husband aren't bad, but this date was exactly what I would have picked to do and I was with someone that enjoyed what I enjoyed! We decided that it was great because we did our favorite things...

We ate Olive Garden. We went and saw a movie, When in Rome. We went shopping and shopping and shopping. It was the ideal date. I didn't have to worry about a babysitter because they were with Robert. I didn't have to worry about what my husband would enjoy doing. I could talk and talk and someone talked back...my hubby starts getting that glazed look. He has even told me before that  I talk more words than anyone he has ever met. I'm not so sure that was a compliment!

It was so much fun. I felt so refreshed and energetic when I got home. I felt like a real person...not just like a mommy or a wife for a little while. I think everyone needs a date night without their husbands and with a close friend sometimes!

My hubby offered to get a babysitter and take me out for my birthday this weekend. He asked what I would want to do...hmmmm...I told him after my date last weekend the bar is set pretty high. He wasn't amused!:)

What would you do on your friend date?

Gotta Do What You Gotta Do!

When is the last time you had the opportunity to sit back and watch a movie with your hubby? If you have small children, it has probably been a while. Going to see a movie takes a great deal of action on your part. You must plan a babysitter, pay a babysitter (ugh), deem a movie wonderful enough to rush there and rush home...maybe go out to eat in the midst of your date if you are feeling advantageous (or if you have made family feel sorry enough for you to babysit for free!) Well, I think Robert and I have solved at least a portion of this dilemma. We work very hard to be creative in order to do fun stuff with little ones and on a budget. It usually involves an act of congress and the begging of family to help orchestrate some time off, but not this time...

A drive in movie... 

Yes, I'm serious. They still have these around, and I have to say that they are GREAT! We visited this one in Atlanta a couple times during the summer. We were newbies to this concept, and we weren't quite prepared. IF you live in or near Atlanta, I highly recommend this idea! I'm sure they are around other areas as well...it may just take a little research first. I didn't even know we had one until this summer AND get this...it's 20-25 minutes away! I know seriously...all this time, I could have actually seen movies when my girls were little...and loud.

My Suggestions for a drive in movie with "younguns'"...

• If they are preschoolers, try explaining the concept. We told LaLa that they play a movie for grown ups on the big screen and made a big deal about letting her choose a movie for the back.
• In our world, we do not let them out of their car seat. If we do, it is all over! They sit in their car seat and watch their movie while we watch ours...the exception is if we have to go potty, but then it is right back in your car seat.
• Bring blankets and lovies to get cozy...and hopefully they will fall asleep.
• Bring lots and lots of snacks.
• Bring dinner for you and your guy.
• Most weekend nights are a double feature. When the girls were younger during the summer, we would have shuffling during the first movie, but we would get to enjoy the second, late night one because they would fall asleep! However, we were quite tired!
• You get to TALK during your movie!
• You can wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt. No one will ever know....unless you go potty!
• Bonus: you can bring ANY food...you don't have to pay for the expensive concessions!
• Bonus: IF your kids do scream or talk, you don't have to leave the movie!
• Put your kids in their jammies. Ours either fall asleep during the movie or on the way home. We just put them in their bed when we get home.

We went out last night. We never got out of our car. We were all in cozy, comfy clothes. We got to see Valentine's Day. Both kids fell asleep in the car. We spent 15 dollars total. Ahhh...sweet success...and I GOT to see a grown up movie!

Do you have any great and sneaky date ideas? A date...even a sneaky one...can be great for your marriage and your mental state as a mama!

Do you like your husband enough to...

Our dusting of snow is melting in Georgia!

It was a great deal of fun while it was here!

Now, we have no snow & lots of freezing weather!

Goodbye snow!

Hee Hee. You didn't know what I was going to say. I like these husband posts such as this one here. My husband always gets nervous when I write about him. I love it when someone we know comes up to him and asks him a question from something I have written on the blog. See, if he would just read it, then he would know when I wrote about him! Well, I am going to stick to my rule of not writing anything negative about him! However, (again...giggle, giggle) I have to ask, "Do you like your husband enough to....voluntarily spend time with him?"

Yes, I mean a date, and after children it is really...I mean really...difficult to find time to make a date with your husband! Once you add in babysitters, food, planning, and entertainment and so on, you are too tired...and too broke...to really enjoy yourself. Then, you probably sit across from each other talking about your kids! We are all mentally broken. Our minds are short circuited because we become so accustomed to not having dates with one another that when we do...we do not know what to do or how to enjoy it! Now, considering the divorce rate is at 50 percent (that's half...for the non-math people including me!), we have to make ourselves divorce proof! It's way easier to just have the mindset to get through it. However, that seems the quickest way to be living in the same house but going in two different directions.

Part of being a good mama is making sure your marriage is solid...which takes knowing each other and sharing time with one another. This is the hardest part for me in my world. I can focus on my children, but I struggle when I have to focus just on my husband. Where do I find the time? Better yet, where do I find the energy? I do not have the answers, yet I know that it needs to be a priority. If I have extra money...can I just buy something crafty and fun and skip the date. If I have extra time for a date, can I just sleep instead? I am always in need of sleep.

Hmmm...Where are my priorities? Where are yours? When is the last time you have been on a date with your hubby? A real date. You planned it. You looked your best. You focused on each other. Don't ask me...I can't remember! Hopefully, you can! This was one of mine and Robert's New Year's resolutions or family goals...however you want to say it. We did several "date" inspired activities last year in our young married Sunday School class so we knew this was an area we were lacking. We also made finding a babysitter a priority because this is a big deterrent from our date opportunities! Then, I found this blog site. This mom at simply modern mom has made a goal of 52 dates with her husband this year. She even has a nifty section for ideas and a contract. Redbook magazine also featured "Date Nights In" in their most recent issue. Hmmm....is someone trying to tell us something?!;) I was very inpired by the Redbook suggestions because they were date nights that followed all of our rules, yet they were dates that were frugal and did not require actually going out. I think a combination of "date nights in" and special date nights out would be a great scenerio. We altered our plan a bit to incorporate our other marriage resolutions or goals such as being more appreciative of one another and finding creative ways to "express" our love and/or appreciation. It's often easy to forget to appreciate those that are closest to us!

I am trying to consciously make myself find an appreciative comment to my husband...even if he isn't doing it right or as quickly as I would like him to...I need to remember that he is trying! I am trying to focus on us and our relationship...as much as everything else in our world. It really helps that we are alternating planning the dates...that doesn't leave all the planning to one individual. In addition, planning the dates inside rather than not always going out makes you be really creative!

Happy marriage=happy family! I encourage you to make some relationship goals too! Let me know if you have any creative ideas...I can always use them when it's my turn to plan!8)

Crazy or Committed?

"A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

~I don't know the author, but this is Robert's favorite quote!

Just a quick post for today! We're enjoying our time in Florida and praying for Robert's big triathlon tomorrow. He has to be up in the morning bright and early! The triathlon involves .5 mile swim...in the ocean...and 20 mile bike and 4 mile run. Let me point out that the weather has been kind of wild lately due to tropical storms. Right now, you look out on the beach at a yellow flag. For someone that is a great swimmer, but not a regular swimmer in the ocean, this can be an even bigger challenge! Now, I can't figure out why anyone in their right mind would voluntarily want to do something like this, but he has trained for an entire year to accomplish this feat. I'll be cheering him on in the morning...praying he doesn't drown or get eaten by anything in the ocean...and crosses the finish line alive and well! So, Crazy or Committed? We'll just have to see! Good luck, Hubby!

Mama Drama Rule #22: If we have to decide if what we are doing is crazy or committed, we might need to consider if we should be committed because we are crazy!

Do you like your husband?

Well...
on most days, my answer would invariably change two to three times. Do I like him? Hmmm…you mean on a regular basis or this second? Do I love him? Always. Like and love are two very different things. I call him a groundhog baby for multiple reasons. First, he was born on groundhog’s day. Second, the groundhog either sees his shadow or doesn’t…one extreme or the other. Well, that’s my hubby. He is either wonderfully happy or not so pleasant to be around (I’m trying to be nice!)…He is either completely obsessed with working out (he has been training for triathlons for the last year…I know, crazy) or not working out at all (He just decided one day last August that he was going to be in triathlons. I laughed. He has always been fit, but as I had babies, he had enjoyed the pregnancy cravings right along with me. Well, for the last year, he has gotten up at 4 or 4:30 am and gone to work out. Then, sometimes, he even works out again at night, and I’m not talking working out like a normal person. He swims over .5 mile…bikes over 20 miles…and runs over 5 miles regularly. Plus, he has lost over 20 lbs. with his obsession. I get winded going to the mailbox. Seriously, I like to do the “fun” working out, but I am sporadic and…um, well, normal. He went from one extreme to the other.

So, my groundhog hubby has his very likeable moments to his “now, what was I thinking when I married him” moments probably like the rest of his. His tendencies just seem more extreme than most. Now, when you mix kids, jobs, and responsibilities in the mix…an explosion is inevitable here and there! Most days, you go through your to do lists, handle the mama drama, take care of the mess and stress of the kids, and you are both working side by side but not really being together. I think we get to the point quite often.

Well, we went out on our date, which mostly included errands. We did get to see a movie and eat dinner, and we didn’t have to rush. At first as we were running errands, we discussed the “have to’s” that we just haven’t gotten around to telling each other. Then, as the day went on, we actually started talking to one another about the nothing kinds of stuff. We were sitting at dinner, and I was thinking, “ya know, he’s funny. I have been laughing so hard. I am thoroughly enjoying his company, and heck, I even like him.” I think at first he was surprised when I told him what I was thinking…because his response was “you mean there are times when you don’t like me?” He was joking because he knows there are many, but for these few hours we got to be just Tammy and Robert…nobody’s employee, nobody’s mommy or daddy, no imminent to do’s or catastrophes…just us.

Favorite Quotes

Joyce Brothers-“My husband and I have never considered divorce…murder sometimes, but never divorce.”

Friedrick Nietzsche-“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

Lyndon B. Johnson- “Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the other, to let her have it.”

Mama Drama Rule #14: As crazy as it sounds, if it seems you are disliking your hubby more than liking him, some time away to remember who you are may be just what you need. Then, at least when those dislike moments happen, you can look back and remember there was a fleeting moment when you did like him!:)