Mommy. Mama. Mother. Mamamamamama. Mom. These are the names that altered my life forever. That title of Mommy is the first time that I felt complete purpose for my life. It changed my perspectives. It changed my fears. It changed my goals. It changed my life.
Motherhood...a place that I never thought I would want to be. I assumed if I did ever become a mommy it would be a mom with a career, a nanny, a cleaning crew, and a nice, stylish wardrobe. I did not even plan on making a lot of money. I had dreams and plans of working or creating a non-profit organization to protect/support/advocate for children.
I know so many that dream and fight to have a baby of their own or through the gift of adoption. They have fought paperwork, time, money, infertility, tests, tears, miscarriages, and disappointment working toward experiencing the wonderful gift of motherhood. A gift that is easy to take for granted when you're tired and overwhelmed. My heart goes out to those that go through those trials and tribulations in their journey. There are so many sweet, innocent babies out there that need mothers. I pray and pray that they will find their way into their arms. I know a time after my miscarriage that I felt pain like no other. I felt like I lost a gift before I ever had the opportunity to treasure it.
When I became pregnant, I remember looking for a nanny to help when the baby came. I remember thinking (despite how wonderful and qualified the person was) that there was no way I wanted this individual raising my baby. You know what? I finally came to the conclusion that I was the only one that I wanted raising my baby. Then, I had to break it to my husband. I am finished with working. I will now be a stay at home mom...over night...decision made. One baby changed my mind...my life.
Time after time I feel frustration, confusion, overwhelmed, exhaustion, and just plain dumb as a mother. I heard a statement recently that explained it all. It's not that I have lost brain cells as a mommy. Rather, I just have so much more to do, think about, and worry about as a mommy. I do not have enough brain cells to go around!
However, more often than not, I feel admiration from my kids. My girls are two little people that tell me and think day after day that I am pretty as a princess....even with my glasses, ponytail, and sweatpants. I feel unconditional love when their sweet voices say "I love you, Mommy". I feel happy when my silly faces and "tickle tackles" make them giggle contagiously. I feel secure when they fall asleep beside me and reach out to snuggle in their sleepy state. I feel an overwhelmed need to protect when they cry or hurt, they run to me for comfort, a kiss, or a band-aide. I know for now...a short, very short time....I can make their hurts better.
I want to give my children so much. Most of all, I want them to be happy, healthy and strong. I want them to see God's love through my love. Yes, it is challenging at times. If I cannot show them Christ-like love, then who can I expect to show them the love of Christ.
I know that I would give anything, anything at all, for my children....my body, my time, my thoughts, my nights, my days, my life.
Yes, I would die for them...in a heartbeat...without a moment of hesitation. Could I let them die for me? Honestly, NO, I could not.
When I became a mother, I realized the sacrifice and love that God showed us when He gave us His Son to save us.
Wow...there are no further words to express that kind of sacrifice.
I love you my sweet girls. Thank you for making mother's day my favorite day of the year...the day that reminds me what a blessing being a mother truly is. LaLa and Little Bit, my mom used to tell me that you will never know a mother's love until you become one. It is so true....I will love you both....forever and always.
Love, Mommy
May all of you, Mommies or soon to be Mommies, have a very happy and special Mother’s Day.
No comments:
Post a Comment