Get CONTROL?!

First, let me apologize. This is going to be a LONG post! I think it might be due to blog withdrawal. It's worth the read...
Get control. Yeah right?! That is what I have learned over the last few weeks. Control is not within my reach. LaLa's birthday bash was the last sense of control I think I had.

Then...

it...

all went downhill...FAST! I think many of my friends and family probably think I have been a little CooCoo (is that really a word?!) over the last few weeks..well, maybe most of April! They would probably be correct in that assumption!



I had to take a technology break. Phones...very little. Emails...only if I had to. Blog...very, very little. Facebook....not at all. Twitter...what is that?! The break was not necessarily by choice. It was mostly brought on by chaos in my world, and my crazy self trying to grasp for control and stay afloat.



We had multiple (and I mean five or six) doctor visits for the girls. They continued to get one thing after another. They would get better, and then they would catch something else! LaLa had the stomach bug, strep throat, kidney infection (ya'll know she has reflux so this is scary for us when this happens...it hung around for a while BUT was mild), and a 'viral' infection with an unexplained fever. Little Bit had the stomach bug (TWICE! and had to be put on zofran? Is it really important if that is spelled correctly?), double ear infections, two new teeth, and tonsillitis. Robert had the stomach bug, allergies, and food poisoning (which were the worst of the three). You might ask about me...well, I survived! I never got sick....wood, where's wood to knock on?! Let me point out that none of these illnesses happened at the same time. They had one...got better...got sick...and so on.



In the midst of this mess...and we all know how helpless we feel when our babies our sick...our hot water heaters went out! Two big massive things in our attic, which we learned as the plumbers hated life and their chosen lot in life, were placed in our house prior to the house being built. This makes it rather complicated when you need to remove them! The builder basically built around them. They just barely fit into their spots. It took a great deal of work and "Tammy being highly agitated" to get the plumbers to figure out something and replace the things! Not to mention, we didn't have hot water for several days.



Oh, there is more! We had a great Easter and Easter lunch with family at our house. Little Bit was on antibiotics for the first round of illness at this point. My hubby and I have talked for SIX years about replacing our countertops (they were PINK corian). Well, he gets all motivated over Easter weekend to do it (yes, after SIX years, he decides in 72 hours!). He finds a contractor, gets an estimate, hauls us to stores to make choices, and demolition begins the Monday after Easter. This means NO kitchen...at all...or laundry room (they are connected) or breakfast room for a little over two weeks. In the mean time, my whole family is sick. This means...Vomit and no washing machine is a serious problem! (thanks mom by the way for use of yours!), Antibiotics are in the fridge in the garage. NO BIG DEAL...you just walk out your front door, around the yard and into the garage to get it! Loud, loud noises from a jack hammer thingie. Dust, dust, dust...everywhere. No hot water for a few days. Whiny...unhappy...kids. A tired, frustrated, helpless mama.



As I mentioned before, I promise that I am not complaining. I did complain...quite a bit over the last few weeks. However, each and every time, I would feel this twinge in my gut. Why in the world am I complaining? I am (after six years of saving and begging) getting my dream, dream kitchen. Do I know how many moms do not have a kitchen at all to make their family meals? I am going to have hot water. Do I know how many mamas do not have clean water to bathe their sweet babies? I have antibiotics and food. Yes, I may have to go outside to get it, but I HAVE it to make my babies better. I have to go to the doctor AGAIN and pay my forty dollar copay. Yes, at least I can pay for my kids to go see a doctor. They're throwing up AGAIN?! Yes, fortunately, they have stomach bugs and sore throats. Both are curable. I just have to make it through THIS one moment of them being sick. They will be healthy and driving me nuts in new ways within days...what about that mama that is clinging to her terminally ill baby at the hospital. I complained about organizing my girls' closets...a project I started before I realized the chaos that was about to ensue upon us. How could I complain with all their clothes they have? It's a blessing that they have so much to go through.



Will I never complain again? Oh, I'm sure I will, but these last few weeks on my technology break, I realized that I do not have control of anything in my life. God says, our life is but a vapor. We are only a spot on the large scale of history. I get so caught up with my life...what I can't control...the things that I think are BAD, AWFUL, AND HORRIBLE. I learned over the last few weeks...a new perspective. I'm blessed that these bad and inconvenient things...weren't as bad as they could have been. God probably gets so TIRED of hearing me complain....thinking, "She has so much to be blessed with, to bless others with, to be thankful FOR, but she is just looking at the bad to complain and complain and complain!"



Hmmm....something to think about...I know it has had me really THINKING before I COMPLAIN

Be back soon to show you my...blessing of a kitchen! I'm still trying to get the LAYERS of dust off so I can show it off!:)