Monday, March 8, 2010

Is it still today?

At moments I wonder if my life is a SNL (saturday night live) skit.

Today...
I wore two different socks. They were not just different styles. They were different colors.

Today...
I decided I needed some exercise as this warm weather has finally hit atlanta. The girls and I went on a walk. Well, I walked and they ate cheese its and juice boxes in the jogging stroller. We hit the half mile mark and my stroller had a flat. Of course, I didn't put shoes on either of my kiddos! We still had that half of a mile to back track in order to get home. Obviously, it hasn't seen much use lately. See, hubby, I knew that little pump attachment would come in handy some time or another...just should've learned how to use it. Strange person on the side of the road helped poor pitiful me.

Today...
Caught my daughter's birthday invitation on fire. Yes, I'm serious. Wouldn't a pirate invitation look extra cute with burnt edges? I was trying to go for the whole pirate map look. I was trying to gently burn the edges and the invite engulfed. I blew...bad...made worse. I waved it....very bad....got bigger and flames move. Threw it down in garage floor and stomped on it....worked...soot on floor.

Today...
In the grocery store we stopped by to get that free cookie the bakery gives kids so their parents can shop and spend more money instead of being grumpy and leave quickly....the baker lady sees my wild little bit and says, "oooh, that girl might need two to keep her still." Actually, Lady, even two cookies won't keep my toddler still unless you have a sedative in there!

Today...
I put my cell phone on the back of my car's bumper and drove away. Fortunately, I do most of my talking while I'm driving and noticed quickly....and it was still there!

Today...
I told my preschooler on the way to school to be a good girl. She said, "Mommy, I might just need to be a little naughty. I don't know how the day is going to go yet."

Today...
I told my mom that my kids were probably going to turn me gray early. LaLa overheard and told me I already had gray hair. (I don't by the way...or I don't think I do.)

Today...
I put my toddlers diaper on inside out. Yeah, that happens when they get to the age of not being still during diaper changes. The goal was to just get it on that end of her body.

Today...
I called the vet to schedule a follow up recheck for my yorkshire terrier. I did not get an appointment because the vet I like wasn't there, but the receptionist could not understand what I was saying even though I repeated myself over and over and over. Without realizing it, I had slowly gotten louder and louder the more times I repeated myself. I was trying to be productive and called while I was waiting outside at LaLa's preschool for the children to come. Of course this simple task turned into a quite embarrassing moment. "Yes mam, that's correct. HIS NAME IS MAX. YES, THE DR. I SAW LAST WEEK TOLD ME TO COME IN FOR A RECHECK. IT'S FOR HIS ANAL GLANDS. HIS ANAL GLANDS. HIS A-N-A-L GLAAAANDSSSS. OKAY, WELL, THANKS, I'LL TRY AGAIN IN A COUPLE DAYS. I looked around and people are trying not to look at me. They probably thought my husband was Max, and he has anal gland issues. Good luck, hubby, at donut for dads this week! I probably made you some new friends at preschool today.

Today...
is the day before my 30th birthday. I'm excited because I love, love, love birthdays and celebrations of any and all kinds, but 30 sounds like a real grown up. That is the part that is giving me some hesitation.

My mom used to tell me when I was little that when we are sad and we cry, the angels would cry with us. This comforted me to know that I never cried alone. Well, I think the same goes for laughing. I have laughed at myself all day. The angels must be laughing too. Maybe I need to submit some ideas to SNL.

1 comment:

Bethany said...

VERY funny post! Thanks for the laughs!!! :)