Encouraging our kid's to be giving and have a kind heart is my husbands and my new goals. I'm sure you are thinking...Oh, Tammy, that's easy. My kid is so kind and thoughtful. Let me just tell you...I said the exact same thing. Now, try testing your theory. We tried to think of some ways to really reinforce having a giving heart to our girls. One way, we decided upon was to participate in Operation Christmas Child. I thought this was right on their level, especially LaLas! We would give her 8-10 dollars and go shopping for items that this little child may need, write a note, draw a picture, wrap it, take it to donate, and a great lesson learned! Aw, I should know better!
Then, I realized that my husband and I often give. We volunteer in various things. We always adopt a family at Christmas or donate food to the local food pantry, BUT what we don't do is involve our kids. They have been spectators. I guess I can get partial credit for at least setting an example; however, I can see where it failed them to have the opportunity to participate and learn by doing. I just thought they were too little, but if I would've started with these concepts with LaLa at Little Bit's age, I think she would grasp it all a little better.
My husband and I did our research and collected pamphlets and such and sat down with the girls. I believe Little Bit was chewing on her sleeve so I'm not so sure how much it really impacted her! LaLa was all ears though. I thought we explained it all so well. We even showed the pictures! The children look so pitiful and then so happy when they get their boxes! Nope. She said, "That's okay, mama, I'll just buy my family gifts. I want to get my sister something and my friends...and the list went on." We tried to redirect the conversation, but she just didn't grasp it. It's our work in progress. Hopefully, the more we talk about it, the more she will understand and be on board!
She just cannot fathom that people do not have stuff like she does. Is this normal? Have we spoiled our little ones? She shares well. She loves openly. Does she give....well, not if it's hers! That brings me to the next issue! We tried recently to emphasize that we have a lot of toys...especially stuffed animals! We explained that some kids don't have toys, and our neighborhood was doing a collection for a charity. Why don't we choose 2-3 toys each that we don't play with to give to a little boy or girl that doesn't have toys? You would have thought that we were trying to take her dog away from the child! She said among sobs, "no, their mommy can buy them a toy." After further discussion with her daddy on the topic, she was trying to debate why people were mean to these kids and they weren't given toys. We, honestly, gave up and secretly did it when they were sleeping!
What do you do? I don't remember this in any of my education or psychology classes! I'm at a loss, and again, I'm just accepting that it's something we have to work at. I know she has a kind, giving heart, but I am learning that it's on her terms, which is something we have to improve! I'm learning that we should have made giving a participating activity rather than a spectator sport for the kids. I'm learning that we probably should have started these concepts earlier! We did make some progress today. Our local food pantry was broken into, and absolutely everything was taken. She seemed to somewhat understand and picked a few things to donate from our stockpile. I was feeling giddy over this improvement...just as my husband pointed out that she didn't have a problem donating our stuff to people in need...just not her stuff. Good point, but progress is progress with a three year old!
Mama Drama Rule #63: Be careful not to make giving in your family a spectator sport. It's great to teach from example, but your kids can learn so much, especially when the reward is something intrinsic, when they are active participants!
If you are looking for ways to get your children involved in getting, let me share with you these great ideas!
(If you're local) Food Pantry in Henry County (There are food pantries in almost every county. I'm sure with our current economy and during this time of year, they could benefit from your giving. Use your "extras" or your overages if you use coupons! It's a great way to donate and give if you currently have a tight budget yourself!) http://helpinginhisname.org/index.php
Operation Christmas Child http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/
Toys for Tots http://www.toysfortots.org/donate/toys.asp
I'm learning that even the little things help such as making a card for someone sick or letting them help when you make a family dinner after an illness or a new baby. I'm also learning that small children are very literal and concrete with their thinking!
1 comment:
Thought provoking post! Lala will get it...sometimes even in watching Mama and Daddy they catch on after awhile.
By the way, at Ballet today the girls are wearing their Halloween costumes. I didn't want you & Lala to show up and all the girls have one on but her!
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