Wow! Has it really been a month since I blogged? Let me start by saying, "HOW DO YOU WORKING MAMAS DO IT?!" That's my first question?! I am only working a little more than part time, and I feel like my lists are never done! I used to say that as a SAHM too? Are the lists ever done? I think part of my problem is I am used to doing everything...my way! Now, I am having to let go of that control...and settle for not perfection. I have a friend that works full time, teaches church nursery, dresses her little girl so cute, house is organized, sews, and is up to date on her kid's scrapbook...plus, she has a life with friends! How? How? How?
I love my friend, and I stand back at awe...a lot...at her abilities. Do you have a friend like that? Are you the friend like that? I think it is all about priorities. I'm working on figuring all of that out! Until then, I'm going to keep looking at my friend in awe. She looks at me funny when I ask her what the secret is?!
The other part of going back to work? There is mommy guilt regardless of what you do?! I had mommy guilt when I stayed at home. I have mommy guilt while I'm working. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what we do as moms, we will still be consumed by that mommy guilt. I feel guilty because I love my job so much. I know...crazy, right? I love the challenge and the break that it allows me to be a person rather a mom all of the time. Plus, eventually, it will allow us to give our kids the opportunity to attend a great private, Christian school.
You know what? I have to sit back and watch my kids sometimes. I try to remove my personal emotions from the situation and observe with an unbiased perspective. They do not seem irrevocably scarred or emotionally damaged. Their childhood is still magical and preserved. Mommy gets to go to school with LaLa three days a week, which she thinks is so "cool". Little Bit gets some one on one attention from her grandma three days a week. I think they might just make it out of this okay. I just have to remind myself that when I have a hard time remembering it!
I have some catching up to do! I have lots of Elmo party stuff from Little Bit's birthday. I'll post it on the blog soon if anyone is having an Elmo party soon. I'll probably sell it for ten dollars like I did the pirate stuff. I'll try to catch our family and friends up on our crazy, mama drama world! My goal is to post at 2-3 times a week! I'll try!
Be back soon!
Tammy
2 comments:
I know how you feel! I work 2 or 3 24 hour shifts a week, so I get to be home with my little man at least 4 days a week, but I still feel guilty. I wish I could be with him all the time. I try to make myself believe that spending time with his granny or his aunt a couple of days a week will make him a more well rounded child. Each individual has something different they will instill in a child, and I know they love him. I still feel guilty. It's really hard to keep the laundry done and the house clean and chase after a little one all day. I completely understand!
girl... no matter WHAT you do, there is mama guilt!
I am missing your more frequent posts but I know you are super busy these days and have more important things to do!
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